This is mah place 2 vent

2008-01-08T21:07:00.000+08:00

What should I do just to make you feel at home? To keep me from being left all alone.
I want you to sing me a sweet lullaby. I want you to hold my hand..

These are the times Ive longed for you. I asked if you feel the same way too but you held me up, I missed your sweet hello..

It's nice that you're around.. ^.^ miss you..

2008-01-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

My first real job started yesterday. I cannot believe it at first that I have a real job (wee!! Madaya ako, kasi effortless ang pag-apply ko.. Konting kausap kay Tito Raffy then he talked to his friend na VP ng Jollibee.. Kaya ako nakapasok.. Thanks Tito Paul!! ^.^) So, I have a contract for 6 months and one month trainee ako.. P45 per hour, minimum of 4 hours and maximum of 8 hours a day.. Not bad for a part-time job.. Haha!! This is not my dream job ok?! I just want to experience if what is it like to have a REAL job.. anw.. Yes, it was exciting and fun but I didn’t like the eeekie uniform.. haha!! Stripes?! Are you kidding me?! Haay, I have to memorize what the food codes are within a week, kaya yan!! ;)

Today was my second day, nilagay na ako sa cashier.. Oh no!! ang bagal kong kumilos.. Dapat pala one and a half minute per customer.. I was so exhausted and sad, I felt I wanted to cry and quit.. Ganyan talaga sa umpisa sabi ni Ma’am Leila.. Sanayan na lang.. Carolyn was surprised when I told her this and wished me good luck.. Haay, sana lang talaga makaya ko toh.. ='S

2008-01-05T23:29:00.001+08:00

Alam kong sawa ka na sa akin.. halata naman kung papano mo ako pakitunguhan.. salamat na lang sa magandang pagsasamahan at alaalang ibinahagi mo sa akin, mukhang gusto mo na ngang magpaalam.. Bakit?! Dahil ba sa wala na akong halaga ngayon sayo?? Pasensya na, naging tanga nnaman ako.. Hindi ko malaman kung ako ba’y nagsisisi at nanghihinayang sa lahat ng ginawa ko.. Tanging pangako mo lang ang hinihintay ko, hanggang ngayon hindi mo pa rin maitupad.. Tagal na nun ha!! 3 buwan na an nakalipas.. Plano mo pa bang tuparin un?! Haha!! I guess not.. Ang hirap talaga pag umaasa ka sa wala.. Sige, kung gusto mo na ngang lumayo.. Fine.. Ako rin lalayo na sayo.. Nakakahinayang pero dapat.. Ayoko ng naghahabol ulit..

2007-12-30T20:21:00.000+08:00

Resolution for the Year 2008

In the back of our minds we all hope that the coming year will be better than the one we leave behind. Truth is, in most cases we are the masters of our destiny. The other telling truth is that in most cases - we fail dismally when it comes to New Year's Resolutions. (Well, this time I’ll try to make it happen)

It’s the day after Christmas, and the euphoria is going to wear off soon. In a few days, it’s time to get back to school -studying, nose bleed exams, etc etc. It’s also a perfect time to set some new year’s resolution. I try to keep my New Year’s resolution to ten items and then, make my goal to at least complete the first five. In that way, I am not totally disappointed in myself by the end of the year. Accomplishing three out of the ten makes me feel good. ;)

My New Year’s Resolution:

10. Stop with alcoholic drinks
Waha!! never will I forget kung anong nangyari sa akin nung debut ni roxanne.. huhuhu!! ='S

9. Become more organized
I’m always the “last-minute-job”. Haha!! Sometimes I forgot what I'm supposed to do or what my schedules are for tomorrow. (I don't like using planners, sticky-notes will do.. ;D )

8. Be more driven
Stop the “manyana habit”. (sobrang tamad ko kasi.. hehehe.. :P)

7. More Time at home
Even on weekends, I hang-out with my friends at the mall or so..

6. Stop having fights
Don’t get me wrong but I am not a war freak ok?!

5. Earning for myself/ Find a job
I’m tired of being called “elite”, “richie rich” or so.. This time I want to be independent.

4. Learn to shut up
Haha!! Being voluble can lead you into trouble.. So might as well keep my mouth shut and keep my complains/problems to myself..

3. Save more, spend less
My goodness, everything that I saved this year were all gone.. haha!! Can you believe it?? This time, I will save something for myself and for my future.. ;)

2. Stop being a drama queen
Lagi akong nadadala sa aking mga emotions.. haay.. ='(

1. Learn to say NO
Ok, so this is personal.. Even if they’re your friends, you have to set some boundaries when asking some favors..

and now, I want to express my resentment and leave it here so I can start the year with no rancor.. (WALA AKONG PINAPATAMAAN ok?!)

I hate for the fact that people leave me behind whenever I have problems.. There are some of them that I ran into to seek for their comfort but instead of giving their console, they keep on bragging with their own topics/discussion not minding how horrible I was.. grr!! Recently with a friend.. Super unfair siya, haay.. Never mind about it.. Basta sobrang unfair niya talaga!! >=’S This time, I am going to up-front and care less if he/she gets mad.. Haha!! Besides, he/she doesn’t care what I might feel, well so do I..

2007-12-16T17:48:00.000+08:00

This was sent by my cousin.. Nakakatawa kasi pati pagdrawing ng baboy, malalaman ang personality mo.. hahaha!!

grudge

2007-12-08T20:48:00.000+08:00

People can be so insensitive. Knowing that I have this huge problem because of the lost of my digicam.. Yes, it was stolen when my friend and I went to greenhills. It’s not that I’m feeling bad because it was stolen but the fear of what my parents would say. They know that I’m careful with my things. I got pissed off with my friends.. They are so selfish and yesterday I can’t help it but to cry. I thought that was the end of my “sama ng loob” even if I went to ATC & Southmall this afternoon the feeling still remain. I thought about it. How could they!! Because of what they did, I lose the perspective of what a friend means. You thought I’m ok, I’M NOT!! >=’S

sobra akong naiinis sa kanilang pgka-self centered and insensitive! Knowing na I have a problem, pinapabayaan lang ako but when it comes to theirs kapag hindi mo tinulungan sila pa ang nagagalit at nagtatampo sayo.

"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you”

Ewan ko na.. =’S lahat ng bagay nawalan na ako ng gana, dami pa naman events ngayong December (our field trip, Theena, Lea & roxanne's debut, celebration, & our dec. 22 road trip..)

2007-11-10T22:27:00.000+08:00

1st week of classes.. Super fun, most of our classes, wala pang mga prof.. My highlights for the whole week..

Monday
• I was elected treasurer in our class.. (eww!! Ayokong mghandle ng funds ng class.. huhu!!)
• Went to SM and karaoke hanggang sawa.. Courtesy of Roxanne.. haha!! Thanks girl.. ;)

Tuesday
• Feeling stupid, I cried.. huhuhu!!
• Had only 1 class that is, calculus 1.. yehey!! Same prof ulit.. ^.^
• Went to robinson’s w/ friends (sawa na kasi kami sa sm), kain sa ice berg.. comfort food.. yummy!! Then karaoke sa gbox.. (happy happy na ulit ako.. aww.. thank you girls!! Love yah much, mwahhz!!)
• Yes!! I’m going to have a new phone.. wee!! Haven’t decided what cellphone pero maghahanap na muna ako.. hmm..

Wednesday
• Went to UPD.. Asar ung bf ni Roxanne!! Naghanapan kami sa sunken garden.. amph.. parang ang liit lang ng lugar na un ha.. Then went to trinoma, strolling lang kami.. Nung nagsawa lipat sa SM North, tawid lang naman un eh.. Got pissed with roxanne’s friend billy (feeling kasi, grr!! He keeps on calling me “babe” err.. snabi niya kay Roxanne na kami na dhl nkpgkwentuhn ako sa kanya sa phone.. haha!! Whatever..) so I went home early..

Thursday
• Gateway.. Di na ako sumama sa tropa instead I went to rob meet w/ a friend.. Kain sa chef d’ angelo (not that satisfied sa food, well, di lang cguro masarap ung inorder ko..), karaoke, watched a movie, 30 days of nights, hmm.. tingin-tingin ng phone and books..

Friday
• Tinamad na kaming pumunta ng MOA kasi umuulan instead, we’ve decided to go to divisoria.. yehey!! Shopping!! Super fun!! ^.^

What a stress less week.. sana ganito na lang palagi.. hek3.. wala kaming ginawa kung di mag mall hopping at karaoke.. bwahaha!! Kawawa si theena, nawalan ng boses.. ;p even though stress less ang week ko.. Di maiiwasan magkaroon ng problems.. O well, I’ll leave this problem to God, ayaw ko na rin kasi magdecide eh.. ^.^

2007-11-02T23:20:00.001+08:00

Grr!! I so hate having this strange feeling.. hmm.. can’t explain but the easiest way I can is-doubts!! Yes, doubts AGAIN!! (you know the feeling when you don’t trust a certain person, you tried to scrutinize everything.. (friendster, friends, recall the bitter memories that leads you to anger..) I had my check up last Wednesday and my uncle told me that I am being a paranoid (like what my friend said) and one day he’ll personally take me to a rehab better yet, to a mental hospital.. (haha!! Ok laugh all you want.. LOL.. :P )

I thought I’ve overcome this feeling but I guess I was wrong.. Huhu!! Gladly, a little convincing is all I need and voila, back to normal.. ^.^ I want to perish these feeling!! =’S A little improvement of myself, I have to admit.. I learned not to emotionally get hurt when it comes to my.. hmm.. ISSUES about it.. ;) (if you know what I’m saying.. haha!!)

“I’m ok” that’s what I always say on the contrary.. I’m not!! :P I’m stressing over my own emotional problems and started reading some emotional problems..(That’s what my prof. told me.. hmm. Emotion communicates.. Translation: I can’t control my emotions. If I can, I can accurately display trust, empathy, and confidence.)One way is to restore or rebuild my emotional intelligence.. (Don't get me wrong, its not a disorder.. hmm.. That's what I'm lacking of.. :P)

are you kidding me?!

2007-11-01T22:52:00.001+08:00

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Biology/Chemistry/Geology

You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Biology, Chemistry, Geology, or related majors (e.g., Biochemistry, Environmental Science, Forestry, Fisheries and Wildlife, Genetics, Marine Biology, Zoology).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

100%

Psychology/Sociology

94%

Religion/Theology

88%

Mathematics/Statistics

88%

Education/Counseling

81%

HR/BusinessManagement

75%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

75%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

75%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

63%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

63%

English/Journalism/Comm

56%

Visual&PerformingArts

56%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

38%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

31%

Saw this quiz from a friend's blog.. Hey, why not try?! Totoo nga ba ito?! Even though I am a bit confused if chemistry is my thing.. Hmm.. I was hoping that Psychology fits me.. ^.^ hek3..

grr!! I'm so pissed w/ a friend.. Don't ask why and I can't help it especially when she/he uses words that enlightens me.. aww.. I get so soft that easily.. huhuhu!! I don't want to tolerate him/her but what can I do she/he needs my help, that what friends do.. ^.^ (hulaan niyo na lang kung babae o lalaki.. basta is alang dun. heheh.. ayaw ko kasi magtampo siya..)

Huhu!! vacation's finally over, parang ayaw ko pa tuloy pumasok.. 0.o

2007-10-31T21:33:00.000+08:00

aww.. this picture is so adorable!! haha!! that kitty looks like from the gremlins movie, the cute and good gremlin of course.. ;) aww.. I want this cat.. haha!! di ko naman alam kung anong breed nun.. hehehe.. :P

2007-10-26T20:52:00.000+08:00

after enrollment.. yehey!! kain sa tokyo tokyo w/ gen. sci friends!!

hehe.. bagong manliligaw ni carolyn.. mabait si kuya ron.. tsk3.. sad sina roxanne kasi siya pala ung cnasabi nilang crush nila na gen sci.. hehehe..

here's my sched for next sem..

2007-10-16T21:48:00.000+08:00

Yes! natapos ko na rin ang lahat! (well, except sa case study.. hula2 na lang sa format.. ^.^ hehehe..) Blogging time!!

Haay.. nagalit ung prof namin sa Chem dahil hindi raw kami umattend pero nandun lang naman kami sa UTMT(under the mango tree, where science majors "tambayan spot".. dun ko unang nakita si jed.. yihee!!) Well, as usual kwentuhan lang ulit kami at kamuzta naman ang topic.. About us, what changes us ng naging chem majors kami, what we've learned for the past 6 months, memorable things.. Hmm.. I thought about it..

1.) Best Subject: Mechanics.. I do hate physics.. pero kung prof niyo si prof. Ocampo.. The best na.. Nagbibigay ng take home exam and what she didn't know, alam ko kung san niya pinagkukuha ang mga tanong.. Haay, ayos perfect na!! ^.^ Parlor moments w/ the block.. Libreng pakulot, hair straightening, manicure and pedicure.. Haha!! all around..

2.) Best Experience: Paglaruan ang mga chemicals.. lagi na lang ako namumuntikang madisgrasya.. haha!! ang prof ko natatakot sa akin dahil minsan nasabi ko sa kanya na magttry akong magcombine ng mga chemicals sa sulfuric acid (of course, considered siya as one of the strongerst acids.. Haay, kamuzta naman.. tawag ba naman sa akin sulfura dahil masyado akong atat sa H2SO4.. nakakatuwa kasi.. ^.^) hmm.. naka ilang basag na nga pala ako ng funnel, beaker at test tube.. hmm.. clutsy lang talaga ako.. ^.^

3.) Realizations: Guidance and Counseling.. I was obsereved and guess what.. I was called a "false mask".. Hehe.. masyado ko raw knikimkim ang lahat ng hinanakit ko and oo lang ng oo ako sa mga tao kahit hindi naman ok sa akin.. Hmm.. hindi naman sa ganun.. mas gugustuhin ko ng sarilinin ang lahat kaysa malaman pa ng ibang tao ang sumama pa ang loob niya..

4.) About me: I asked my block mates.. Am I really that immature.. hmm.. Yes and No.. Yes, pag kasama ko ang tropa.. No when it comes to serious things.. Nasa lugar nga naman ako, sabi nila.. Haay, kahit na malandi ako?? Dati may nagsabi sa akin na flirt nga ako.. I'm not.. Wala naman akong BF, kahit ung guy walang GF..(yan ang kagandahan pag single.. ;) ) Why not?! kwentuhan lang naman kami ha.. (haay, super cute talaga ni Legor.. ayihee!! pantanggal depression lang naman ang kilig factors eh.. ^.^) kasi naman, hinuhusgahan na kagad ako.. Hindi naman masamang makipagkaibigan dba?? tska di nila alam na parehas kami ni Legor na may mahal.. ^.^ Ay si Morse.. Sobrang kinikilabutan ako sa kanya.. Sa kanya naman, nang-aagaw raw ako.. Kmuzta naman.. siya ang unang lumapit sa akin.. eewwww!! he even gave me a name.. "cupcake".. term of endearment niya sa akin.. (mukha ba akong cupcake?! shet!!!) haay, hindi po ako malandi.. maldita lang talaga since birth.. ^.^
Things that I considered myself saying.. "I've changed":

* Di na ako selosa!! (people who gets jealous do not feel sufficiently worthy to retain affection.. hindi ako yan!)
* I love myself.. (this is me, accept it..)
* Take your time.. (having a lot of patience.)
* No more hidden grudges.. (hidden agenda na lang.. hahaha! jokes.. :P)
* For a long time, ngayon lang ulit ako nagseryoso sa pag-aaral.

5.) Regrets: Ang number 1 na pagkakamali ko.. Trusting her.. Ok na kami ngayon, inexplain niya sa akin kung bakit niya nagawa ang bagay na un.. Come to think of it.. Di ko ma-express kung matutuwa ba ako o maiinis sa ginawa niya.. Well, pinag-away niya kami eh.. (I cried that night knowing na kailangan kong mag-aral sa exam!! huhu!! hindi ako nakapagconcentrate.. I felt better after eating a half gallon of strawberry ice cream while watching underdog.. kamuzta naman ako.. Am I that depressed?!) hmm.. isa lang naman din ang naisip ko.. Masyado siyang pakialamera.. Kung gusto ko man gawin un sa taong un, thats none of her business..

6.) Suprise!: Magkalapit lang kami ng bahay ni roxanne!! haha!! kamuzta naman.. sa katagal-tagal naming magkakalase, kailan ko lang nalaman un.. :P

7.) Lovelife: Wala akong lovelife this sem!! Haha!! Isang himala!! :P pero may dalawang nanligaw sa akin but at that time hindi pa ako ready dahil nasa healing process pa ako and ayokong magkaroon ng commitment..(shet!! sobra ko ng pinapahirapan ang sarili ko sa school, ayoko ng madagdagan pa..) There's this guy.. Kamuzta naman para sabihan akong.. "wala ka ng ginawa kundi magbasa, pwedeng ako naman?!" (sinabi niya un sa akin sa text) NUMBER ONE MISTAKE!! tsk3.. Basted ka na kagad sa akin!! hahaha!! :P

2007-10-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

Selling my Canon Powershot A520..
Selling price: P4,500
little scratches but in really good condition.. email me if anyone's interested.. stylishangel_24@yahoo.com

Technical Details
* 4.0 MP CCD captures enough detail for photo-quality 10 x 14-inch prints
* 4x optical zoom, 9-point AiAF, 13 shooting modes
* Large 1.8-inch display; D!GIG Image Processor for faster speed and vibrant colors * Print/Share button for easy direct printing and downloads, plus ID Photo Print and Movie Print with Canon CP printers
* Stores images on SD or MultiMedia Cards (MMC); powered by 2 AA batteries Power Sources - Two Size AA Alkaline batteries

What's in the Box:
The PowerShot A520 digital camera kit includes:
1. Interface Cable for transfer
2. AV Cable
3. MultiMediaCard MMC-16MB
4.Canon Digital Camera Solution Disc
5. Wrist Strap

I hate bio majors!

2007-10-11T23:17:00.000+08:00

Galit na ako sa mga bio majors!! huhu!! Nung Tuesday buhay pa ung rabbit ngayon, nakita ko na siya.. STUFFED!! kawawa naman sila.. ='S

forgive

2007-10-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

For how many months hindi ko kinausap o pinansin si Rusell, but guess what pinansin ko siya kanina dahil sa isang rabbit.. hahaha!! (poor little rabbit, iddissect siya.. huhu!! kung ppwede nga lang iuwi ko na lang eh..) Gulat siya ng pinansin ko siya pagkatapos ng ginawa niya sa akin.. Well, kung ang Diyos nga marunong magpatawag ang tao pa kaya?! Yeah, forgive and forget.. He texted me again at ilang beses siya nagsorry sa nangyari.. (haay.. pero kahit na.. nag iba na rin ang pakikitungo ko sa kanya.. at ang trust ko sa kanya ay nawala na..)

2nd Sem sched.

2007-10-08T11:57:00.000+08:00

Yes, I have my schedules!! 7:00-5:30 naman ako ngayon medyo maluwag na rin..(ayan, hindi na ako full load.. 31 units na lang ako.. hahaha!! :p) Hmm.. I’m planning to continue working.. Well, as a S.A (student assistant) again.. (wehe.. sasabihin ko sa parents ko na hanggang gabi ulit ako.. ^.^ hek3..)

(next time ko na muna ippost I have to fix my scheds first.. :P)

Mushy thoughts

2007-10-07T20:39:00.000+08:00

“It’s not you, it’s me”

Heard those lines a thousand times.. I have been emotional for the past few days. I don’t know the reason but I keep on asking myself, “bakit nga ba kailangan may mgbf/gf?” I asked one of my friends opinion, “para magkaroon ng karapatan ung isang tao sa kanyang minamahal..” haha!! Ano raw?! So, what does that mean?! Anw.. for me diba, ppwede naman kayo magmahalan na walang commitment? I mean, yeah you trust that person and in that way you gave him/her a freedom to do whatever he/she wants. What about it?? How can I love a person if I couldn’t trust him? Hey, its not easy to give your trust dba?! I’ve know him long enough pero eto pa rin ang doubts.. There are times that he hurts me unconsciously. Ok, I can handle that pero minsan naiiyak na rin ako sa pagod. I want to give up and yet there’s a part of me that still wants to hold on. Again, its not that nagsasawa ako pero kahit gaano katagal ng iyong pagpapasensya napapagod ka rin eh.. =’S (and still, I don't want to quit on him..) Minsan iniisip ko rin, everything that I've done is it really worth giving?? Haay, I want to have a break from this feeling.. (hmm.. I should stop reading and watching mushy stuffs.. hek3.. :P)

I’m having a lot of fun w/ my friends’ company.. well, we call ourselves as MP4(mga payat 4) And with them, nakakalimutan ko ang problems ko.. aww.. ^.^ I love being busy, stressing over with my studies, reporting, grr!! this case study I’m supposed to be doing, and reading.. Actually, reading?? not much this time.. Haha!! I haven’t even finished reading The lovely bones, I think its been 2 weeks or so since I started reading that book.. I keep on going back the last chapters cause I forgot how the story goes.. wee!!

Pahabol.. I want to forgive, -to the people whom I hated and to those who treated me wrong.. hehe.. One step that I did was to greet her a Happy birthday.. (ang babaw pero I want to show her na wala na sa akin ang mga nangyari.. sus! 2nd yr pa un.. We’re still kids back then.. ^.^)

2007-10-06T08:16:00.000+08:00

Last Thursday was our recollection.. The usual crying, sharing and forgiving moments.. Pero hindi, wala kasi ung presidenteng kinaiinisan ko.. whehehe.. jokes.. ^.^ anw.. I am bothered w/ one of my blockmate, of what had happened to her. I cried for her hindi kasi obvious sa kanya na may matindi siyang problem cause she’s a jolly kind of person.. Kaya pala minsan nakikita ko siyang umiiyak na walang dahilan tsaka nagpapasama o naghahanap ng kasabay tuwing gabi para kumain.. She’s really something, despite of what those B%$(*&^s did to her, she wants to forgive them but she can’t. Yes, it takes time to heal..(naisip ko, kung ako ang nasa situation niya.. mapapatay ko ung mga taong yun.. hehe.. really!!)

Thinking that I am truly blessed by God, not experiencing the hardship that other people experiences.. My friend envies me because I have a perfect life kasi wala akong problem sa buhay.. Oh really, I told him my life issues.. Being dictated, other people planning for my future.. May gusto akong gawin sa buhay pero hindi ko magawa dahil kailangan may paalam pa sa parents.. I told him, I envy all of them.. They have this freedom to do everything anything they want –to decide for their future.. Pwede nga ako di makinig o di gawin ang mga gusto nila sa akin pero nandun kasi ung feeling ng guilt na ayaw mong madisappoint sila..

I had this one on one talk sa pastor.. Naalala ko nanaman kasi ung issue ng friend ko.. I asked for his advice at nagpaturo na rin ako how to deal with it.. He asked me, “are your patience that long?” (haha!! Ano daw?!) kasi ganito, para siyang bata na laging magtatanong-tanong sa akin.. Hmm.. Kaya yan.. ^.^ hehehe..

I didn't mean to make you mine -nina

2007-09-30T19:15:00.000+08:00

Don't give me a second chance
It'll be the same
You will be the consequence
And I will have the pain
You are something else
I have to survive
That is why I say
With tears in my eyes

I wish I never opened up my heart
I didn't mean to love you baby
I wish I never let it get this far
I didn't mean to love you baby
If I could have a single wish
I'd turn back time
I didn't mean to make you
I didn't mean to make you
Mine

Don't look at me like I'm mad
I thought you would know
I was getting way too sad
It was gonna show
There was no way I could hide
I could hide the truth
So I took the risk
And fell for you

I wish I never opened up my heart
I didn't mean to love you baby
I wish I never let it get this far
I didn't mean to love you baby
If I could have a single wish
I'd turn back time
I didn't mean to make you
I didn't mean to make you
Mine

I didn't mean to make you hold me
I didn't mean to get so lonely
I didn't mean to say all this to you
I didn't mean to make you need me
I didn't mean to love you like I do
Look at what we've put us through

I wish I never opened up my heart
I didn't mean to love you baby
I wish I never let it get this far
I didn't mean to love you baby
If I could have a single wish
I'd turn back time
I didn't mean to make you
I didn't mean to make you
I didn't mean to make you
Mine

paghhirap ko..

2007-09-28T19:57:00.000+08:00

Kahit hirap na ko sa pgkakabisado ng names ng elements and compounds..
sa amoy ng mga chemicals na yan..
sa 12 hours na pagpasok sa school..
sa 33 units na yan..
sa pag akyat hanggang 4th floor..
sa walang sawang pgppost at pagvvideo sa aking mga kablockmates..
sa walang sawang panlalait at pang-aasar na pinaggagawa ko..
sa nkkasawang pagkain sa luncheonette..
sa nkkasawang pag-inom ng fruit shakes..
sa sobrang lamig ng mga rooms namin..
sa prof na may gusto sayo.. Eewww!!!..
sa lahat ng mga experiments..
sa dinamirami ng nabasag na test tube, beaker, pipet at erlenmeyer ng mga blockmates
ko...
sa di sinasadyan pagkasugat ng aking balat dahil sa hydrochloric acid at nausukan ng methyl alcohol..
sa walang sawang pagssulyap sa isang physics major..

sige lng... MAY ARAW DIN AKO!!!
OH DIBA? minotivate ang sarili...

smile lang katapat niyan.. ^.^

2007-09-24T20:28:00.000+08:00

I feel sad for my Tita Sheila.. Yesterday was a shocking day, Tito Raffy called us announcing that Tita Sheila had a cancer.. cancer sa thyroid and ng-under na siya ng operation and radiotherapy and now she's ok.. In November, they’ll come back here.. A little vacation and siguro they also want to see Paulette.. Hmm.. Sabi ni mommy may taning na daw buhay niya.. haha!! kmusta naman un.. I texted my uncle who's a doctor asking him about cancer.. totoo nga, kahit na cancer survivor ka, ppwede pa rin siyang bumalik.. ='S aww..

2007-09-15T18:18:00.000+08:00

Haay, I’m still confused kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ko.. I’ve been chatting w/ a friend.. Hindi niya rin gusto maging teacher. Well, so do I.. Naisip ko tuloy.. Tama ba ang ginawa ko nung magccollege na ako –I mean ng school? What if tumuloy nga ako sa Assumption? Yes, if ever I’m taking BS Psychology.. But what ever school you go to doesn’t matter naman diba? Ok, being a chemistry teacher?! Hmm.. Never ko talaga naisip yun. A chemist as in making such chemicals, medicines, etc..? pwede pa siguro. Grr!! I love what I’m taking right now, really!! I’m just so confused kung ano ba ang mangyayari sa akin in the future.. X’S

forgotten emotions

2007-08-30T12:33:00.000+08:00

I have this strange feeling lately.. Parang nararamdaman kong nagsasawa na ako sa company niya or is it we’re having this long gap na not like the past na lagi kami magkasama.. Hmm.. Back to my old self nanaman ako tuwing gabi -nag-iisip at nagssenti nga kung minsan.. Ano na nga ba nangyayari sa amin?? Yes, I still treasure him kahit na sobra niya akong nasaktan.. Well, siguro nga dahil sa sobrang busy ang schedules namin.. ='S

feeling a little down..

2007-08-28T21:47:00.000+08:00

One thing I learned in my psych class..

"Having doubts doesn't mean you mistrust a person but what it means is that you want to clarify things."

aww. haha!! tama nga naman.. ;)

haay, why am I feeling so sad? Tinamaan nga ba ako sa conversation namin ni Roxanne kanina? err.. its not about having doubts but about being hurt.. Yes, I've through that all the time.. Well, maiba naman ito.. ='S tsk3.. (don't get me wrong.. I've got a lot of issues about myself.. ;D )

panibagong tag

2007-08-26T19:09:00.000+08:00

in the 8 facts about (name) you share 8 things that your readers don't know about you. then at the end you tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going. each blogger must post these rules first.
♥ each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
♥ bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
♥ at the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
♥ don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I know all the different breeds of dogs.
2. I'm good sa mga word search. (kahit na sinasabi nilang malabo mata ko, I can spot the object I'm looking for easily.)
3. mas madali akong nakakapag-isip o nakakapag-aral ako pag gabi kaysa sa umaga. (kaya nga nagtataka ung mga kaklase ko sa akin, hindi nila ako nkikitang ngrreview pag may test pero nakakapasa ako.. :P)
4. ngssleep texting ako.. (haha!! kung minsan hindi ko alam kung ano ang nsabi ko, magugulat na lang ako kinabukasan pag binasa ko ung mga sent items sa phone ko..)
5. may times na natatakot din ako (especially after watching scary movies) tumatabi ako sa parents ko at sa kanila ako natutulog..
6. pinag-aaralan/inoobserve ko ang bawat kilos at pananalita ng bawat tao. (lalo na ung mga taong lagi kong nakakasama.. hehehe.. :P waha!! natutunan ko un sa psych.. bawat kilos at sinasabi ng tao may iba't ibang meaning.)
7. there are times na I do hate myself and I cried.. Haay, (kala niyo narcistic ako.. di noh.. :P)
8. I hate cleaning my room..

tagging; arvin, ate kc, diane, roxanne, theena, ate jane, ate arriane and kuya ronel.. ;) (ung iba dyan wag kj ha!!)

my own issues..

2007-08-26T18:11:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I can say that I am through grieving with my lost wallet incident last Wednesday.. Sobrang ntouch ako sa isa kong friend, he gave me a wallet no.. a purse pala.. He told me na dapat ung purse ang ginagamit ko not the large ones para lahat ng memorable things ko, hindi ko ilagay sa wallet para pag once na nawala ulit un pera lang at hindi na ako malulungkot… Kasi mas iniyakan ko pa daw ung mga bagay na un kaysa sa pera.. wahaha!! :P

Nagiging close na ako dito sa isa kong ka-blockmate dahil sa cheering and siya ang seatmate ko nung field trip.. Some of our blockmates calls her Kiray (kasi naman kamukha nga naman niya si Kiray) well, she’s Roxanne.. Naisip ko lang kahapon, sobra ko siyang kinaiinisan nung 1st month but she’s ok.. We chatted so much hanggang sa naging open na ako sa kanya.. Surprisingly, she gave me love advices.. Aww.. But I don’t need love advices, dahil wala na ako niyan.. ^.^

can't forget

2007-08-23T20:17:00.000+08:00

Still grieving for my lost wallet.. huhuhu!! Syet!! Ba’t di ko pa rin matanggap na nawala nay un.. I know its just any other material stuff pero sobrang mahalaga ang mga laman nun dahil ibinigay pa un ng mga taong importanteng sa akin.. umm.. not the money and my cards kasi mapapalitan naman un eh.. pero ung mga pictures and letters na binigay ng mga tao sa akin.. There’s jr’s bookmark which he gave me last 2 years.. letters from my bez, amand’s sorry letter, pictures w/c my friends gave me, ung ticket na pnanuod ko sa cinemalaya w/ Diane, Alyssa’s goodbye letter.. wah!! Ang dami pa syet!! Those things are irreplaceable.. =’S

Naging... ako sa play namin..

2007-08-21T21:03:00.000+08:00

Remember this day.. August 21, 2007.. Most embarrassing thing I did.. syet!! Super!! =’S well, I had fun naman sa umpisa pero after nun, narealize ko na nakakahiya pala ung ginawa ko at sa harap pa ng maraming tao.. waah!! Di ko na un uulitin kahit na play lang un..

panibagong kadramahan..

2007-08-19T03:47:00.000+08:00

I can’t sleep and it’s already past 2:30am.. Huhu!! Masyado kasi naging emotional ang gabi ko.. Ok, I’ve been thinking and at some point, I realize something.. Well, I want to dedicate my entry to my dear bezie.. ^.^

I asked myself a thousand times if what is a true friend? Often, I have struggled to understand what makes one person there, truly, more than the next. We all go through life with different people by our sides at different times in our lives. But some people distinguish themselves. They are true friends.

There are times in all of our lives when we need the comfort and solace of someone who understands completely, and for some reason, continues to help us when we are at our worst, perhaps even exhausting them.

To me, a true friend understands. Not the kinds that say they will be there for you and then are purposely. They are the kind that says they’ll be there, then are, and amaze you with how devoted they really are.

Going through a time of crisis reveals that your real friends are. It’s not to say that those who are not there for you in these bad times are not good people or good friends. But you get to see their true dedication and when you face the hardships.
But your real, true, friends are the ones who come through with flying colors, when you do not even have to ask. There is something magical about the bonds of true friendship. Though you may not have many kinds of these people in your life, be thankful for the ones who are there. The people in our lives are a blessing.

When going through rough times, don’t expect everyone to understand, you will just be let down more if they do not. Reach out to your friends if you want them to understand, and give them the opportunity to help. (They aren’t mind readers! Believe me.. :P I used to believe that they are because of what they say “emotional attached” like twins.. but I thing that should be categorized under soulmates??)

If you do not find someone to understand, you know that the person has not defined themselves in your eyes as the kind of person who will be there through thick and thin. You can still value people in your life who are not “till the end” friends. These people have just as much to offer, and it should be said that each person in your life is there for a reason. If a friend just does not get the idea that you need him or her, try and understand what that person is going through, or how they view the relationship. And most of all, don’t expect everyone to run to your aid. Everyone is busy with his or her own lives.

However, you will find a friend who will be there for you, and you will never truly be alone. Open your eyes to the people in your life and look for someone who you can depend on. Most of all, return the favor! When someone goes out on the line for you, you should do the same. A simple “Thank You” to a friend should do the trick, who have helped you through rough times and let them know how much you appreciate all the efforts they have done, and who they are. ^.^

2007-08-07T20:06:00.000+08:00

My lost cousin, Kristiene(kasama ko sa pic..).. Well, di naman siya lost pero gusto ko lang tawaging lost siya.. wehehe.. ;P Nagulat na lang ako nang balitaan ako ni Eco na may kakilala siya na kamag-anak ako.. Sa umpisa pa nga lang di ako naniwala pero nung pinakilala niya sa akin si Kristiene.. Ayan na.. Actually di ko siya natatandaan pero siya natatandaan niya pa ako.. Last namin pagkikita ay nung 1994 pa.. (wow!! ang galing ng memory niya ha..) ANW.. di muna ako naniwalang kamag-anak ko siya so I started asking her questions.. at nasagot naman niya lahat.. hahaha!! ^.^ aww.. Isang malaking surprise un sa akin.. ^.^

Sa mga nagtatanong..

2007-08-06T12:25:00.002+08:00

Shet, explain ko lang poh about sa previous entry ko.. Haay, hindi poh ako galit sa kanya.. May mga times na bigla na lang sumasama ang loob ko but I tend not to have that feeling cause I don't want to hate that's why binubuhos ko lahat dito.. And no, its not Armand.. hahaha!! Sorry kung di ko inaacept ung mga comment niyo sa entry ko.. Kung mgppost kasi kayo, kung maaari, no unwanted words ok?! ano pa ba.. 1/4 poh yan ng aking assign.. ung iba hindi ko na nilagay dahil masyado na siyang personal..

Well, npagisip-isip ko.. bahala na ang panahon sa amin.. Ang tatlong taon ay sobrang bilis lang.. Kaya kailangan magpakasaya na muna ako.. ^.^

2007-08-05T19:24:00.000+08:00

Waha!! I would like to share my assignment to all.. Well, its not yet finish pero gusto ko siyang ipost sa blog ko.. hehehe.. I did not include the last part because the last paragraph was TOO personal.. wee!! ^.^ but I do promise, maganda ang last part niya.. hek3.. hmm.. feel ko may mga wrong grammar ako.. wehe.. pgpasensyahan niyo na.. rush lang yan.. ;)

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I was born on 19th of May 1989 in Caloocan, second of the three siblings. I grew up in Quezon City not until we moved in Parañaque then to Las Piñas. My Father, Valeriano Veloso Jr. the eldest son in a family of two sons and two daughters.

My Father worked for the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra at the Cultural Center of the Philippines, as a Violinist. My mother, Escolastica Bajamundi, fourth of the six siblings. At the time of my birth she was working as one of the commercial advertisements.

I was raised as a brat by my parents; all the material possessions I wanted are all given to me. My parents don’t expect anything from me like being great in everything, they just want me to enjoy life and at the same time doing well with my studies. I never imagined myself having a goal or ambition in life not until I am in High School.

My life changed when I met this boy. A confidant, a lover, an enemy. He usually describes himself as tall, dark and handsome but for me its the opposite side. Short, sharp-witted, yes, he is dark as well. He is one of the reasons that made me who I am today. We started as “fillermates” (communicating on each other using cattleya fillers.) until our friendship grew to the next level. Even though things didn’t end up very well, we remained mutually. There are times that we fought and promised to forget each other, but faith leads us back together. With numerous disputations we had or even our rise and downfalls, never did we abandon each other. Maybe a part of transition in our relationship or a part of me which cannot accept that what faith wants us to be is to remain friends and forever friends.

When I become a college freshman, I began looking my purpose in life. Many questions bothered inside me; what do I really want to be? Am I a better person? Am I good enough? The questions I keep on baffling myself when I am not satisfied with my own self. I thought that having many friends will help you do great things but instead, they can be the one that pulls you down from ascending. That’s how I become a recluse from the society. Anger rises as my friends took advantage of me; the meaning of a friend gives me the antipathy and the vision of cynicism to all.

As I think, seek, and alter my whole self, I become more eager in being perfect. I can see how my friend soars through and through in achieving his dreams while I was being left behind. I tried to be the best of the best.

At the age of 17, I started having interest in working. It was the final week of March that I began seeking a job. I entered as a freelance writer for two months but as classes began I stopped working to focus on my studies. Because of the pressure and insecurity I have with him yet again, I search for a different career. With the help of my cousin I entered in the field of modeling, a body image model in Saikou Talent Agency. This time I knew that what I am doing is what I really like.

I wanted to blame him of what I have become. There are times that he made me feel useless, and unconsciously trampling my whole individual. In a way I want to prove something but I did, realizing that my search of purpose had become more meaningless because what I am doing is not for myself but to compete and prove something that I was and never will be left behind more likely as to revenge. Yet, I want start from scratch to search my real self. (besides, changing for others won't do me any good..)

honesty is NOT the best policy..

2007-08-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

I'm halfway in finishing my scrapbook for psych.. whew!! Last night I couldn’t sleep so I surf the net and surprisingly, I chatted with a friend.. Well, we chatted until 2:00am.. I think.. Many things popped on my mind.. That’s the time I started doing my scrapbook.. hahaha!! Funny to think of it.. only one night.. :P I guess nagpakasenti ako.. At that time, I realize something.. Maybe being too honest is a bad thing.. Some people believe you but either way it is an opportunity to take advantage of you or not.. Others won't believe you and think that you are lying.. haay.. Sana pala may mga bagay na hindi ko na lang sinabi ang totoo, hindi ko kasi aakalaing ako rin pala mapapasama sa iba.. Well, another lesson learned.. ;) Next time.. I WILL put some limits with my actions..

unwanted condition..

2007-08-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

I was sent home by my prof yesterday because of my sore eyes.. huhuhu!! Yes, I have them for the very first time in my entire life!! Grr!! Would you imagine.. I even pleaded to my prof not to not unless I finish his exam.. (wow!! Nagawa ko nga un..) Ayan, he told me he’ll give me a special test when I’m fully recovered from my condition.. It’s a good thing we don’t have classes today kung hindi naku.. I missed 2 days of my class.. Right now, I’ll grab this time to work on my scrapbook and fix our script for the class play in psych.. (hindi poh ako scriptwriter, taga ayos lang ako.. hehehe.. ;p )

2007-07-30T11:41:00.000+08:00

Ang sakit tanggapin na ung mga taong malapit sa buhay, pagkakaisahan ka.. Hindi mo aakalaing sa isang libro lang, iiba na ang pagtingin at pakikitungo ko sa kanila.. haay.. Nakakainis talaga!!

2007-07-26T21:30:00.000+08:00

Grr!! for 4 days.. Haven't gt enough sleep because I was studying for the long test in chem & mechanics wishing to ace those test.. Oh please let it be.. ='S If I'm not satisfied w/ my result.. I would cry.. huhuhu!! (laki ng sacripisyo ko noh..)

Our prof in psych did not attend our class.. aun, kwentuhan ulit kanina.. My blockmates gave me a bad comment.. ok so not the word comment.. "Di ka marunong makisama. Lagi ka na lang nagbabasa sa isang tabi. Nagpapaka-isolate ka ba?" Hmm.. For sure I got pissed off of what they said.. So what?! Its not that I dont' want to mingle with them.. I just wanted to be alone.. Haay..

"What do we mean to each other am I friend ,am I lover, is it over now?
Do you love me still or do you just mean well?"

1 on 1

2007-07-24T04:15:00.001+08:00

Having this one on one session with our psych prof was pretty nice (sa klase un ha.. everyday, isa-isa kaming kinakausap..) aww.. ang galing niya super!! Parang ngpakunsulta na rin ako.. hehehe.. Ui, di pa ako nbbaliw ha.. ;P I learned and understand so many things.. Haha!! Like my obsession.. err.. He didn’t gve me any advice w/ my problem even if I asked him what I’m supposed to do (A Psychologist must not give advice. They only guide you in a proper way of thinking/deciding. [so, ganun pala un..]) Haha!! Sana pala naging psych major na lang ako.. wee!! ;P One more thing, I like what he said to me.. hek3.. aww.. well, sa amin na lang un.. ;)

2007-07-22T20:37:00.000+08:00

As I walk away, I heard you screaming my name. I wanted to look back and see your face but I resist myself in doing so. For days I’ve tried to forget what my feelings are just to bring us back together. Cherishing the moments we’ll have.

Maybe you cannot understand what I’m trying to say. To make it short, I am afraid to lose you. When the time comes, I know you'll set me aside and prioritize the girl you fell in love w/..

busy week..

2007-07-19T20:35:00.000+08:00

err.. sorry for not posting any entries.. Super busy.. haay.. I've been busy for a week because of the NSTW (National Science & Technology Week).. Busy in a way na taga-bantay ng exibit kahit na wala namang dapat bantayn.. hahaha!! Photographer, utos-utusan nung panahon na gmagawa kami ng costume para sa aming mascot (that's ok.. atleast nakakapunta akong sm.. ^.^), aral, aral, aral!! hahaha!! and still thinking kung ano ba ang gagawin kong proj. sa psych..(connect?!) hmm.. I have to make a scrapbook starting from my infant yrs. till present.. (conditions: I have to put some pictures w/ the people who made me a better/worst person, reasons.. umm.. ano pa ba?? can't remember ung iba pang conditions.. hek3..) I've been a bit lazy din this week.. Lagi na lang kasi ako nagala w/ my gen. sci friend & blockmates.. well, pinagsasamantala ko lang ang maluwag kong schedule.. hehehe.. Nahahawa na ata ako kay Irene.. tnatamad na rin ako pumasok this saturday.. hmm.. I'm still thinking if I'm going to school.. hmm.. bahala na lang sa mood ko.. hek3..

Nalulungkot ako.. Mawawalan na ata ako ng isang super close friend.. Sana wag na lang kasi siya umalis.. huhuhu!! Well, kahit na malayo na kami sa isa't isa.. I know, she's real to me.. aww.. Alabshue Diane!! ^.^ Dapat sa UPM na lang siya lumipat wag na sa UPD para malapit.. yehey!! meet ups sa rob.. ;) hek3.. (Diane, nagpaparinig ako.. hehehe..) yah, I can say she's everything.. ^^,) mwahhzz!!

Some of my readers knew that I'm a pet lover right?? well, if you don't.. now you know.. ANW.. almost a week na since my pet cat, krisca(yah I know.. strange name.. but I named her when I was in 4th yr. H.S..), she's so skinny & hasn't eaten anything since tuesday.. this afternoon I went home early just to bring her to the vet.. haay.. until now, di pa siya gumagaling sa bacterial infection niya sa stomach.. huhuhu!! Still praying for her recovery.. ='S

Alam ng ating mga puso- Rachelle Ann go

2007-07-19T20:23:00.000+08:00

Hindi lihim sa aking tibok ng iyong damdamin
Alam kong matagal ka ng naghihintay

Wag kang magalala mahal naman kita
Darating din ang araw at tayo na

Alam ng ating mga puso na tayo'y para sa isa't isa
Alam ng ating mga puso at di na kailangan na sabihin pa
Ang mahalaga sana'y laging tapat ang pag-ibig mo
Nakahanda ang puso ko para sa'yo

Sila'y nagtataka ba't di ko inaamin
Na sa'yo ako ay may pagtingin

Wag kang mag-alala mahal naman kita
Darating din ang araw at tayo na

Alam ng ating mga puso na tayo'y para sa isa't isa
Alam ng ating mga puso at di kailangan na sabihin pa
Ang mahalaga sana'y laging tapat ang pag-ibig mo
Nakahanda ang puso ko para sa'yo

Maghintay ka lang malapit na,..

Alam ng ating mga puso na tayo'y para sa isa't isa
Alam ng ating mga puso at di na kailangan na sabihin pa
Ang mahalaga sana'y laging tapat ang pag-ibig mo
Nakahanda ang puso ko para sa'yo...

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wala lang.. I just like this song.. aww.. share ko lang.. ^.^ hehehe..

2007-07-14T20:47:00.000+08:00

I don't want to see myself hurt again because of him. I thought about it and I think its best if I told him everything.. umm.. not now.. maybe some other time.. Anywayz.. I know it would'nt be hard for him if he/or both of us decided to say our goodbyes.. Haay, sadness..

2007-07-09T21:26:00.000+08:00

pahabol lang..

I started thinking about this matchmaking thingy that my friends did.. hmm.. That's why I ask one of my blockmates who ofcourse knew this guy.. kblockmate niya kasi siya dati.. Umm.. not bad.. but ofcourse, I just wanted to know some of his background.. hahaha!! Hindi muna ako ppasok sa isang relationship not unless maging cum laude ako.. wee!! :P hek3.. (seriously!!)

Nasisiyahan nga ako sa kinuha kong course.. w/c is chemistry ofcourse.. ANW.. we did a little experiment and at that time sound trip!! iniwan kasi kami ng prof.. I heard this music that reminds me of him.. asar nga eh.. the funny thing is sunod-sunod pa talaga ung mga kanta na nagpapaalala niya sa akin.. tsk3.. inaasar ba ako?! hmm.. hek3.. :P

Napansin ko pala kahapon, I have this black spots in my left palm.. Di ko malaman kung san galing siya.. sometimes it itches and I can't get rid of it.. waha!! naghawak ako ng mga solid chemicals pero sabi naman sa amin ng prof safe daw un.. huhuhu!! ano kaya toh?!

2007-07-09T12:52:00.001+08:00

Another week of torture.. haay.. Well, ok lang rather than what happened to me last week.. Thank goodness!!

Hmm.. last week, I've been so depressed.. Parang may sarili ba naman akong mundo and naging bitter ako sa iba.. Wait a minute.. 2 of my friends.. ahem.. ahem.. knew what my problem was.. Kamusta naman sila, mga matchmakers.. hahaha!! well, they introduce me to this guy who is also their friend and blockmate.. I told them, I had a crush on him.. Joke lang un eh.. actually, I like his eyes.. un lang.. Ewan ko, sineryoso ata ng guy na un.. Nung weekened, todo text kaming dalawa.. Shet!! Pinapakilala na ng friend ko sa iba na bf ko na ung guy na un!! grr!! I know its a joke pero natutuwa pa nga daw 'tong guy.. hmph.. I don't like that ha..

ANW..

Huhu!! I don't want to think bad stuffs about him.. but why is he like that, acting bitter?? I want him to know but I'm afraid what his reactions would be.. ='S

update!!

2007-07-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

Sunday morning, My aunt and I went to bicol (hindi na nakasama ung mom ko dahil wala daw mag-aasikaso sa mga kapatid ko.. err.. it's a good thing na 10:00 ang klase ko kaya pinayagan ako.. wehehe..) We came back just this morning around 9.. late nga lang ako sa 1st class ko but its ok.. I went to school looking tired but still manage to finish upto 8:30pm.. Biruin mo, magrereport pa ako for our psych class.. Eto pa.. I was so pissed off with my mechanics prof.. She said I was a "know-it-all".. Really?! Hmm.. How can I be a know-it-all if one of my blockmates cannot understand what she was discussing.. Duh!! she asked for my help, kaysa naman hindi ko siya tulungan..

Pers. Ed 3.. Haha!! All we ever did was to discuss our relationship to others.. Syempre.. mas gugustuhin nga naman nilang pag-usapan ang lovelife (as much as possible, I tried to avoid this discussion cause it still hurts me..).. well. Open Forum ang nangyari kanina.. BTW.. I was surprised with my blockmates.. We've known each other for 3 weeks or so?? Kung tratuhin namin ang isa't isa parang super close na ha.. hahah!! that's good.. ANW.. When it's my turn to open up, I cried.. I couldn't take it.. I still love this guy and I can't accept that he loves another.. What else can I do?? I love him so much.. I know we've talked about it, but how can I stop myself from loving him?! Trying to avoid?, make myself busy?, find another?! Everything that I do, reminds me of him.. Many had told me to forget him, but how?! Di ko nga kayang di kami magkita eh.. haay.. My prof. told me that I was obsessed with him.. Yes I am, like ate Jane.. She loved my friend so much for 3 or 4 or 5 years!? My goodness!! I salute u girl!! ^.^ Eto pa pala ang masakit.. may nalaman ako!! hmm.. I saw Meg inside our campus.. Nagtuturo pala ang tita niya sa amin.. ANW.. we chatted for 2 hrs?? during my break time.. Hmph.. bakit sinasabi ng taong un na kami na ni.......?? "basta alam ko masaya si jelai.", "tinatago pa nila, pero ang totoo ang alam ng iba ay sila na.." hmph.. really?! I was hurt.. not flattered.. wehe.. ok, I don't want to discuss this topic.. ;P

not like that..

2007-06-28T12:52:00.000+08:00

My Lola Nena died last Monday.. Hmm.. We haven't decided if we're going to her funeral or not.. Hindi ko pa alam kung ano ba talaga ang cause of death niya kasi sabi "na-nuno" then Lola Lil' said na may nakain daw siyang food na allergic siya.. I felt bad for my cousin Tonette.. Cancel ang kanyang kasal this Saturday.. How ironic.. (parang nangyari sa Tita ko.. Days before her wedding, naaksidente ang lolo ko..)

My blockmates.. It's not that I don't like them or don't want to mingle with them. The fact is, I do.. Hmm.. I already discussed this to a close friend.. haha!! buti na lang at naiintindihan niya ako dahil siya rin pala.. ganun din ang nararamdaman niya sa kanyang blockmates.. (Diane, ikaw 'toh!! hehehe.. :P) ang hirap kasi kumilos.. They know me as a shy, silent, nice type of girl.. Minsan nakita nila akong nakipagharutan kay Diane, bigla ba naman akong sinabihan. "hala jels! ikaw ba yan?!" tapos minsan, nakipagbiruan pa ako sa kanila.. Ako ba naman ang tipo na grabe kung manlait.. what they said.. "nag-iba ang tingin ko sayo!" tsk3.. o well, unti-unti ko rin ilalabas ang tunay na jelai.. ^^,) hehehe..

akala niyo lang yon..

2007-06-22T22:27:00.001+08:00

Yehey!! Tapos na rin ang isang linggong walang pahinga.. haay.. ano ba.. umm.. nagkasakit ako, I was named “The walking Calculator” err.. (kasi ang bilis ko raw magsolve ng math problems.. umm.. that was pre-calculus and mechanics.. haha!! My prof in pre-calculus, Prof. Infante, inorasan pa ako to see if how fast can I solve an equation and it only took me less than a minute.. She even tested kung talaga bang magaling ako.. pnagmultiply, add, subtract at divide ako mentally.. hello?! Pinagtripan ako.. hahaha!!) Dahil sa 3 hours ang vacant namin kanina.. Ayan, nag-umpisa na ang open forum.. Because we’re science majors, ntopic namin kung sino sa tingin namin ang mag-eexcel sa klase they said sina Lovelyn, Camille, Tony, Ireene and me.. (Ganun?! Dahil lang ba sa pre-calculus incidence na yan..) hmm.. don’t expect too much from me.. Pinapagawa pa nga nila ako ng script para sa prof. ed 2 namin.. huhu!! Di nga ako marunong eh..

Every 5:30, nakikita ko sina Armand, Carolyn, Diane and Vian sa 3rd floor hallway ng CED (tapos 7:00 si Rex naman..hehehe..).. I confess, I really miss them so much.. Iba na kasi kung hindi na sila ang nakakasama mo araw-araw.. Haay, there are times na hinahanap-hanap ko ang kulitan naming block..

Grabe, nag-uumpisa na ang pgppressure ng mga prof. sa amin.. huhuhu!! =’S sana makayanan ko’toh..

2007-06-12T22:24:00.001+08:00

First day as a College Sophomore.. My goodness, nakakapagod.. imagine, 12 hours ka nasa school?! Kahit na maaga na ako natulog (umm.. 11:30pm?! Hehehe.. :P) pagod pa rin ako.. Every break time namin kanina, natutulog ako.. wee!! Ayoko na ng full load sched ko... haha!! Buhay pa kaya ako after 5 months?! ;P nakakatuwa mga kaklase ko ngayon, 1st day pa lang pakapalan na ng mukha.. Ok fine.. so, kinapalan ko na rin mukha ko.. hehe.. As if we’ve known each other, nambabara na, nang-iinsulto.. err.. ewan ko kung talaga bang loko un or they really mean it.. 15 nga lang pala kami sa klase.. ^ .^

Philippine’s Next Top Model
Grr!! I get so irritated with this show.. 1st of all.. What’s with Ruffa Gutierrez-Bektas?! She’s not even a model.. hello?! Why didn’t let Melanie Marquez (considering her one of the Ford models.), Tweety De Leon or even Den Abesamis host the show.. They ARE well-known models in the Philippines.. hmm.. besides, Ruffa doesn’t know how to host a show.. (e.g. sa the buzz..”ah..”, “hmm..” tapos sa Next top model, she’s just repeating what Tyra says in her show.. haha!! Nakakatawa..)

di na kaya..

2007-06-09T02:36:00.000+08:00

Grr!! Sa Tuesday na pala pasukan namin.. huhuhu!! I thought it was on Thursday.. haay.. I can’t sleep.. err.. many things inside my mind.. hmm.. might as well post something.. I felt sorry for Carolyn, away nanaman kasi sila ni Jerico.. So to ease the pain, we went out.. I hope now she’s ok.. ^^,)

Ba’t nga ba hindi na ako nag-uunli? Un ang kadalasang tanong sa akin. Tsk3..masyado niyo naman ata ako namiss.. hahaha!! Pwes, eto ang kasagutan.. napapagod na akong ulit-ulitin sagutin ang mga tanong ninyo.. R1: nililimitahan ko ang sarili ko sa pagttext dahil magpapasukan na. R2: pag nakikipag-usap ako sa inyo, hindi nagtatagal ang ating pinag-uusapan. Mas maganda kung all day texting din para sulit sa unli.. ;) hehehe.. Bakit un na lang ang lagi niyong tanong?!
-“kumsta na?”
-“eto ok lang.”
-“Ano ng balita sayo?”
-“wala naman ikaw?”
-“wala naman din, ano bang ginagawa mo?”
-“eto nagbabasa/nannuod ng tv/ngp-pc. kaw”
(Haha!! This could go forever!! Nakakasawa ung mga ganitong conversation diba?! Mas maigi na lang sa YM makipag-usap atleast pag nagsasawa o naiirita ka sa kausap mo pwede kang mgpalusot na kailangan mo ng umalis. Haha!! Invisible mode kagad ako niyan!! ;) )

R3: Can you be my textmate? Iritang-irita ako sa mga taong nagttext sa akin ng ganito. Mas gugustuhin ko pang deretsahan ako. “Hi, ako si ------- friend ako ni ------.” Un dapat!! Haha!! Anyways, kahit ganun nga ang itext sa akin hindi ko ineentertain ang mga hindi ko kakilala.. Introduce yourself face-to-face saka kita ittext. Kaya kung sino man ang nagbibigay ng number ko, pwede bang magpaalam muna sa akin?!

R4: Napapaaway ako.. hahaha!! ;p gulo1: nagbubura ako ng mga numbers kaya ung mga long-time-no-text people.. pasensya na.. magtampo na kayo kung gusto niyo, tagal niyo kasi di nagpaparamdam kaya kinakailangan ko kayong tanggalin sa phonebook ko.. gulo2: ung isa diyan na mahilig magsend ng quotes.. wushu!! Tinatamaan ako.. hahaha!!

R5: Nagiging daily routine ko na ang pagttext ko sayo. Pagkatapos ng last away natin. I told myself not to stick to you too much.. Masyado kasi akong possessive.. hehehe.. Since then, pag naka unli ka bahala na lang ako kung mag-uunli din ako (that is kung ginaganahan ako magtext2.. hek3..) at ikaw na ang mag-iimbita kung gusto mong magkita tayo sa hang-out place natin.. Maghihintay na lang ako sa iyong imbitasyon.. ^.^

Hmm.. To lessen these burden that I’ve been feeling right now, I’ll let it all out in here..

Kawawa ka naman. Ba’t ngayon naaalala mo na ata ako?! Dahil lang ba sa nagbreak na kayo, saka mo lang ako naalalang kamustahin. Grr!! Naiinis ako sa mga pinagttext mo. Wag mong sabihin na quotes lang un pero it makes sense. You said you made a mistake. Well, so do I.. Remember “Shame on you if you fool me once. Shame on me if you fool me twice.” I don’t want to make the same mistake again.

Hindi naman sa sinisisi ko siya sa aking nakaraan, hindi lang ako makapaniwalang maiisipan ko siya ng ganito. The truth is, I appreciated of what you did. Pero bakit nung mga oras na nasasaktan at umiiyak ako sa kanya wala siya?! Nung time na ok naman kami, nandyan ka na. Once I told him I don’t want to give up on him and continue to fight. Oo nga tinulungan mo ko but how could you say such things. “Ayaw sayo ng mom niya, mas gusto niya si ____.” It hurts.. Really!! That’s why I tried too damn hard to befriend his family.. Didn’t care less kung ano ang isipin nila sa akin o kahit magmukha pa akong desperada nuon.. Right now, I’m having this thoughts if what you’ve said in the past are all true.. Its hard to forget even though I’ve said this a million times –past is past, its better not to look back or even talk about it. Haay.. He’s still my friend, I don’t hate him but I’m just mad.

Makakaya ko ba talaga ngayong sem?! Haay, nakakapanghina ng loob pati ung schedule ko. Huhu!! My gosh, 12 hours?!?! I have to study very hard para maging cum laude. Err.. taas mangarap noh?! Hehehe.. ;P

the search is over

2007-06-05T00:58:00.000+08:00

haha!! after 1 month, natagpuan ko na rin si Jonas!! Yehey!! Thanks ate Jane.. ^.^ mwahhzzz!!! hmm.. dahil sa malapit na ang birthday niya, I'm planning a surprise visit.. ;) err.. di ko pa pala alam kung san siya nakatira.. Once pa lang kasi ako nakakapunta sa bahay niya.. hek3.. ;P o well, madali na yun.. ^.^ hurray!! I'm going to see my long lost best!! =D

stillness

2007-06-04T00:12:00.000+08:00

Going to make over my blogspot so it might take a while to completely finish this.. Grr!! It’s been years since I changed my layout so medyo nakalimutan ko na kung papaano ulit. Oh well, I’ll get used to it.. again.. hehehe.. This time shall be different. I'm so fed up with the dark and goth-type layout.

Ok so does anyone watch Heroes lately? First saw on TV and I don’t think that it’s my type of program that I will watch. One day, chatting with Diane and she mentioned the show. I got curious and watched. Una ko siyang napanuod, my goodness.. Nagustuhan ko siya.. Because I’m so impatient to watch the next episode of Heroes, which is every Monday at 9pm on C/S. The next day, I rushed down to RFC and search for the Heroes DVD.. Haha!! Miraculously, meron akong nabili.. akala ko kasi wala pang DVD un and vola there it is.. nagseason 2 na pala siya.. Hurray!! ^.^

Last 2 nights, I’ve become moody again.. err.. A lot of questions popped out on my mind.. Haha!! The “what if” questions.. Hmm.. I’ll just shut up and never care because there are some questions that doesn’t need to be answered.. ^^,) Pero dati ba'y masaya siya sa company ko o masaya nga siya sa company ko dahil sa.. hmph.. Never mind.. ^.^ I like to admit one thing, minsan nagtatampo pa rin ako sa kanya kahit na alam niyang ok na kami.. Grr!! besides, I'm just like the addendum in his life.. (How ironic my fate is.. Always the afterthought.. :P hahaha!!) Ayoko ng sinasabihan niya akong ~~paranoid~~ that’s why its better to keep my mouth shut.. ^^,)

minsan lang 'toh, pagbigyan niyo na ka-dramahan ko.

2007-06-03T02:16:00.000+08:00

My days have been rainy though the sun's smiling rays
In a haze of confusion my heart can't find a way
To get rid of my heartache as I'm slowly dying
Weeping for a lost love I never had but still wanting.

Its been hard to let go and I'm crying every night
I've been trying to hide it but I just don't feel right
I've said my silent goodbye but I'm still falling apart
Everyday I keep feening and its breaking my heart.

Tell me how to end it so I can understand and see
Let me know what I did to make you stop loving me
I can fake a smile if that's what you want me to do
I can even pretend I'm okay just to be close again to you.

Sometimes I feel like you're all mine, just for a day
I wish for a time when we can make through the night away
And I'll always remember the time when you were
When I was the one in your arms and not her.

I miss you so much that I crumple in pain
So I just close my eyes and feel you're mine again
It'll ease my suffering even only for a minute
Then I'll live my life another day without you in it.

I don't know why not being with you is hurting me so much
I dream about you at night and I'm aching to feel your touch
Its harder to say goodbye now that I have to say it to you too
But until that day comes I'll just be heartbroken over you.

Back again.

2007-06-02T13:04:00.000+08:00

Where did my essence in writing went? The past month, I stopped blogging. I don’t know maybe because of the “incident” if you know what I’m talking about. And now, I want to bring back my passion in writing.. Well, besides of my freelance writing job.

“We keep on changing for others just to be liked or to be loved but did we ever thought of changing for the reason of being a greater person?” A thought from David Jeremiah, I am pretty much bothered of what a friend said.. “You’re domineering.” Haha!! Am I? Never did I notice that I’m starting to be a tyrant. I had to admit, I am changing some of my ways. Hek3. Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing this not to be liked nor to loved.

A few days to go until our classes start. I am scared, really!! =’S Can I make it this sem?! Last night, my uncle called and we had a little chat. He asked me if I’m definitely sure with my plans. Haha!! I don’t know, there are times that I’m having these second thoughts. One things for sure is that after I finish my bachelor’s degree, I am going to study again, not that certain if I’m going to take another course which is I.T. or continue Psychology or Chemistry. During my High School years, what I foresee is that I am going to be a photographer, a fashion consultant, a model(?) ;p not even once did I anticipate myself as a teacher?! (Hmm.. Sa totoo lang, gusto ko magwork sa office.. ^.^ ) We also have this agreement. Ok, so not only for me but also for my brothers and cousins. If one of us graduated with honors, he'll give us an all expense paid trip to the US (back and forth na un, siya na rin ang bahala sa gastusin namin. Shopping, food, etc.)

My cousin and I have this crazy idea, magpapa-VTR kami this Tuesday. Trip lang naman.. hehehe.. (ofcourse, pumayag ako kasi libre lang. Kakilala kasi ng mom niya ung owner. So, why not?! Besides, do you have any idea how much a single VTR cost?! Haha!! Grab the opportunity! Like she said, “It wouldn't hurt if we try. As well, we might get discover. ;)”)

Tagged!!

2007-05-22T16:27:00.000+08:00

Err.. I don’t what’s with this tag thingy and I have to list down 6 weird things that define me.. but what the heck.. I’ve been tagged by ARVIN.. hahaha!!

1.) When I was young, our parents forbids us to take care any animal so what we did (w/ my brothers) hid kittens inside our closet.. (haha!! Meron nga natago namin ung pusa for a month at hindi pa sila namamatay.. of course.. nakalagay sila sa isang box ha.. tsaka kaya pusa dahil sila ang madaling hulihin kaysa sa tuta dba.. ;) )

2.) When I was 2 yrs old.. sabi nila mahilig daw ako magtago kung saan-saan.. Nahahanap nila ako minsan sa loob ng kulungan ng aso, ilalim ng kama, likod ng mga cabinets (panahon ng kasya pa ako cause I’m so skinny..)

3.) Unang pagsakay ko sa LRT.. haha!! Para akong ewan dito.. pinipigilan ko lang ang sarili ko at that time pero deep inside masayang-masaya ako.. Pinagtawanan nga ako ng iba kong colleague ng kinuwento ko sa kanila.. Sa susunod, MRT naman ang isusunod ko..

4.) Once I studied ballet.. Pero dahil sa tinamad ako, tumigil din ako.. Dun ko narealize that dancing is my passion(?!).. Since then, I started dancing by myself infront of the mirror.. (hmm.. minsan ginagawa ko pa rin cause I have to think some of the dance steps.. mostly for P.E. and sometimes for cheering..)

5.) Every siesta time..pinapapasok ko ung mga alaga namin sa bahay at pinapatulog ko sila sa kama ko.. haha!! Sabay-sabay kaming natutulog.. until now ginagawa ko pa rin un.. ;) (hehe.. para kasi silang mga stuff toy.. ^.^ )

6.) And last.. Takot ako kay chucky.. (Chucky, the killer doll from child’s play.. If you know that movie..) Hanggang ngayon natatakot pa rin ako sa kanya.. Hmm.. Everytime I see its horrible face, it still freaks me out!! Eewww!!

Hmm.. now I’m tagging- Diane, Ac, Mai, Den-den, Mariz and Kuya Darren.. ^^,)

Celebration..

2007-05-18T18:13:00.000+08:00

Natapos na rin ang early celebration ng birthday ko kasama ang mga kaibigan ko.. hehe.. Kahit super simple lang siya.. Masaya naman ako(kahit na ung celebration ko with my h.s. friends, pagod na pagod ako na may pagka wala sa mood.. game pa rin ako!!).. ^.^ hmm.. pero may part na nainis din ako.. Well, I won't let him spoil my celebration(haha! u know whose that guy I'm talking about..;D ).. Kaya dneadma ko na lang siya.. Haay, It's fun while it lasted.. Yehey!! Happy birthday to me.. :P (I still can't feel that I'm turning 18.. hahaha!!)

Earlier that day, nag-enroll nga pala ako.. huhuhu!! asar ang sked ko this sem.. 12 hours akong nasa school.. damn!! Paano na ako mgSA niyan?! huhuhu!! good luck na lang sa akin.. i hope na makasurvive ako.. (I'll post my sked when I come back.. hmm.. maybe this monday..) ^^,) hmm.. I'm still thinking if I'll quit cheering or not.. ='S

I'm happy.

2007-05-12T09:55:00.000+08:00

Haha!! Finally, my summer class is over.. Who would have guessed, naka 94 ako sa trigo.. Samanthala nuong H.s., Hirap na hirap ako intindihin ang mga lessons.. tsk3.. yehey!! sayang nga lang, hindi raw ilalagay sa transcript namin ung specialization.. Haay, all I have to do is wait till next week.. haha!! gusto ko ng magpahinga.. mapalayo na dito!! Hmm.. Sa totoo lang, excited na nga ako sa party ko kasi.. may mga pinagtripan ako!! hahah!! I told them na may attire, cartoon character o kaya mag face painting na lang sila.. Natatawa ako dito sa isang tao, tinext text pa ako na nakabili na siya ng costume niya.. huhu!! medyo naconsensya naman ako kasi wala naman talaga eh.. hmm.. pero ok lang, atleast magkakaroon ako ng mascot sa party.. ;P hahahaha!!

lalo na ako nainis!!

2007-05-07T19:52:00.001+08:00

I got more pissed off after reading his blog.. Hmm.. I know, ako ang sinasabihan niya.. Actually, I don't hate him not even "secretly" hate him.. ok?! Haha!! teka.. are you sure?! If I do hate you.. Will I even care for you?! Sige, prankahan na talaga 'toh.. Hindi ko na kayang itago.. Nagtampo lang ako sayo dahil sinabi mo pa na walang mangyayaring party sa birthday mo.. Sige, nandun na ako na surprise party un.. Kaya wala na sa akin un.. It's not a big fuss for me..

"pupunta pa rin ako kahit na hindi ko kilala ang lahat ng pupunta.." ring-a-bell?! Gumawa ako ng paraan, inimbitahan ko si Gracia para sayo.. Para hindi ka ma-o.p dahil di bale ng ako ang ma-o.p, wag mo lang maramdaman un!! I felt so bad sa sinabi mo!! Tama nga.. Lack of trust ang friendship natin, you know that.. >='S do you even see me as a friend?! Masama nanaman loob ko sayo.. Haay, gusto ko na maging manhid.. Ayoko ng magalit sayo.. Actually, nagagawa ko na eh.. 1 week of compensating.. Right a wrongs done.. Hmm.. If you can't see my concerns on you.. Then fine.. Atleast.. I did my best.. Wala akong pagsisisihan.. ='S Why are you doing this to me?? May ginawa ba akong masama sayo?? Hindi naman lahat ng sinasabi ko ay tungkol sayo..

Celebrating my 18th birthday

2007-05-07T19:44:00.000+08:00

I started inviting some of my friends for my 18th birthday celebration.. I got a little pissed off with my high school friends.. Hmm.. I decided I want to celebrate my birthday with my close friends.. Isa pa.. CLOSE FRIENDS ONLY.. Anyways.. Kahapon, kchat ko sila.. naiinis ako kasi I’m the one who will decided whose invited.. Tapos sasabihan pa naman ako.. “si ------- hindi mo ba iimbitahan?” Haay naku, hindi ko na lang sila nreplyan pa.. And there’s this friend of mine.. hmm.. kung ayaw niyang pumunta.. eh di wag!! Oo, alam ko namang napipilitan lang siya.. obvious naman sa sinabi niya.. yeah sure.. Gusto ko nandun talaga siya sa celebration ko that’s why I came up inviting one of his friend.. haha!! O yan, Masaya ka na ba?! Grr!! Instead of being excited.. Naiinis lang ako.. Nilimitahan ko lang ang gusto kong imbitahan.. I don't need alot of presents.. I just want my celebration to be plain and celebrate it together with the people that I do cherish.. Ewan ko na talaga.. Parang ayoko na ngang ituloy eh..

unexpected..

2007-05-02T20:21:00.000+08:00

Haha!! I'm glad that I saw ren-ren and Carl.. again.. sa SM.. (after how many months.. kami ni ren2 hindi nagkikita.. tsk3..) Ayun, ganun pa rin siya.. Maharot na ewan.. hehehe.. At that time, tumitingin-tingin ako ng cellphone tapos bigla ba naman niya ako hinila kung saan-saan!! haha!! nuod daw kami ng spiderman.. etc.. etc.. haha!! yeah right.. hindi pa nga talaga siya nagbabago.. I already invited Carl and him sa debut ko.. hmm.. Hope they'll come.. ^^,)

2007-05-01T20:41:00.000+08:00

May nalaman ako at lubusan akong nasaktan.. You lied to me!! Haay, kung minsan..hindi ko na alam kung ikaw pa nga ang taong nakilala ko nuon.. Sometimes, I do wish we could go back to the beginning.. I miss the old days.. ='S even if our past memories are hurtful..

misty's song

2007-04-29T12:49:00.001+08:00

Hahaha!! I just love this song.. ^.^

Out here in the quiet of the night,
Beneath the stars and moon
We both know we've got somethin' on our minds
We won't admit, but it's true
You look at me, I look away.

I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, but I
don't know how to start
I wanna tell you, but now I'm afraid that
you might break my heart
Oh, why should anything so easy, ever be so hard to do?
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, and to
say that, I love you.

I practice all the thing that I could say,
Line by line, every word
I tell myself today could be the day,
But every time, I lose my nerve
I look at you, you look away
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, but I
don't know how to start

I wanna tell you, but now I'm afraid that
you might break my heart
Oh, why should anything so easy, ever be so hard to do?
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, and to
say that, I love you.

Why, do you turn away?
It must be, you're afraid like me
I try, but I can't pretend that I
Don't feel for you the way I do
Can't you see?I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, but I
don't know how to start

I wanna tell you, but now I'm afraid that
you might break my heart
Oh, why should anything so easy, ever be so hard to do?
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, and to
say that, I love you.

I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, but I
don't know how to start
I wanna tell you, but now I'm afraid that
you might break my heart
Oh, why should anything so easy, ever be so hard to do?
I wanna tell you what I'm feeling, and to
say that, I love you.

easy lang muna..

2007-04-28T10:31:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I do regret reading psychological books.. You know.. learning the meaning of a person's movements, actions and even their way of communicating to people.. (Hmm.. masyado kasi ako nainteresado sa psych namin, values and also.. from our P.E. prof?! where she prefer herself a choreographer, an archer, a psychologist, a nun, and umm.. I forgot the other one.. hehehe.. As I got interested, I began observing other people..) Yah, I got a little pissed off last night w/a friend.. hmph.. What else can I do?! >='( I didn't like what he said.. That's why..

unfair?!

2007-04-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

I want to hate him!! grr!! I'm so sick of his excuses!! Why can't I make myself hate him?? When he use.. hmm.. "colorful words" (i'd say..) Wala nah.. NO more anger and once again, nadala nanaman ako sa kanya.. Haay.. I keep on thinking, sino ba talaga ang may deperensya sa amin?? Why can't I feel this "friends pa rin ha!" Sure ba siya?? Eto lang.. Does he really value me?! (kahit na ilang beses niyang sabihin sa akin na pinapahalagahan niya ako, bakit hindi ko makita o maramdaman?? Minsan ko lang talaga naramdaman na pinapahalagahan niya ako.. Haha!! Kung sabagay.. He's not.. hmm.. alone at this moment.. [that's what he always says.. haha!! so dramatic!!]) Whatever!! As for me, I've done my part.. I showed how much I value him.. as a lover, as a friend.. Sige lang.. Everyone knows when if enough is enough.. Kung kailan magsasawa ang isang tao.. Kahit kaibigan, nagsasawa rin.. >='S

(I saw this very interesting book when we went to MoA.. My goodness!! Why didn't I bought it?! I really MUST have this book!! huhuhu!!)

suko na ako!!

2007-04-21T00:53:00.000+08:00

I thought if I took summer classes, hindi na ako mag-iisip ng kung anu-ano.. Well, I guess not.. At first, I didn't want this yr to end because I still want to spend some time with my friends (with whom I fought, which I acted like a complete stranger to them..) and there's this two friends of mine.. Huhu!! I can't believe na lilipat na sila ng school.. ='( I needed them.. Sa kanila ko kasi nakita na vnvalue nila ang isang kaibigan.. One trait that I’ve been seeking for a friend.. Ok, sometimes I can be a nosy one.. There's this girl.. Haha!! Kaya naman kami naging magkaibigan dati kasi marami kaming kakilala (naging friend niya kasi nung H.S. ung best friend ko nung elementary..) Haay.. Naging memorable sa akin ung pag-open up niya sa akin.. Yah, I can still remember that day.. Gabi na at ayaw pa naming umuwi kaya nagstrolling muna kami sa campus (ilang beses kami nag-ikot2 nun.. hek3.. ;P) habang nagkkwentuhan kami.. Sa totoo lang.. ayaw ko siyang lumipat ng school but ofcourse.. like what we have discussed.. We have to set our priorities first.. Akala ko sa UPM na siya.. Its a good thing for me kasi magkalapit lang ang school namin so pwede pa kaming magkita.. ^^,) But I don't think that would happen.. kasi naman hindi pa nrrelease ung transcript niya dahil hindi pa complete ang grades.. So, baka sa UP Dilimian na lang sila ni Mai... aww.. ='((

Grr!! I hate it when I think such foolish things.. I tried not to.. Haha!! Natural na siguro sa akin ang mag-isip ng kung anu-ano.. hek3.. haay, natakot ako sa sarili ko kasi.. I think it was last week I started having headaches.. woah!! akala ko nga ttrankasuhin ako pero hindi naman.. My mom notice na may lumalabas na ugat sa ulo ko (according to my uncle, it's a sign of migraine).. Pero para sa akin.. pagod lang yan tsaka dahil sa init na rin.. It's so sad at hindi ko naibigay sa kanya ung dapat kong ibigay nung nagkita kami.. Hmm.. kailan nga ba ulit kami magkikita?? hmm.. after a month?! I think.. haay, nainis kasi ako kaya nakalimutan kong ibigay sa kanya.. Iniisip ko pa rin ung nangyari sa amin.. Nabanggit niya ung letter ko.. (haha!! I can still remember kung ano ang sinabi ko sa kanya.. hahaha!! Actually, ayoko lang kasi mapag-usapan namin un.. ;) ) Mushy, am I right?! Hek3.. hey, hindi ko kayang sabihin sa kanya ang lahat kaya dinadaan ko na lang sa sulat..

A month to go para sa debut ko.. hmm.. Naiinis na ata sa akin ung parents ko kasi ang gulo2 ko raw..First, I wanted a formal one.. but then again.. gusto ko, pakain na lang para overnight ung iba.. and now.. haha!! gusto ko sumama sa tita ko umuwi ng bicol this May.. I want to take a break!! wehe.. bahala na nga lang talaga kung ano ang maisipan ko.. hek3..

Hmm.. ok, let's say somethings bothering inside my head.. ano nga ba?? dapat ba o hindi ko dapat gawin?? haha!! so, I'm having doubts pero bahala na lang siguro.. kung ttignan, parang nakakahiya rin kung gawin ko nga yun.. (pagkatapos lahat ng sinabi ko sa kanya.. ;) ) I want to hate him but I can’t.. I tried reading his blog para bumalik ang galit ko sa kanya.. Haha!! Surprisingly.. Gnreet na niya ako.. Gusto niya kasi siya ang unang magggreet sa akin.. tsk3.. Simula kahapon, he keeps on texting me Happy birthday greetings and his birthday wishes for me.. may pa-count down pa nga siyang nalalaman..haha!! weird but also, it touches my heart.. aww..=’) (pero hindi pa rin magbabago ang nararamdaman ko.. Never will I see him as a lover.. nagbago ka na.. hindi na ikaw ang dati kong minahal..)

haay.. Isa lang naman ang wish ko sa birthday ko.. that is… SECRET!! ^.^ hahaha!! Simple but I don’t think anyone could ever think of it.. (hek3.. try guessing it..)

not good..

2007-04-18T08:33:00.000+08:00

Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko.. I was so pissed off yesterday.. not because of what happened sa akin sa rob.. haay.. different issue.. I made a lot of thinking last night.. Mali.. hindi ko dapat un ginawa.. sa susunod, I’ll make sure that it won’t happen to me again.. Sa tingin ko nga napansin niyang hindi maganda ang mood ko kaya ngpplay safe siya.. At that time, ktext ko si Diane.. Naiiyak na ako sa sarili ko.. I wanted to leave but there’s a part of me saying na ‘wag muna’.. I’m touched of what his friend said ("*****, si jelai oh.." -hmm.. napansin niya siguro na hindi ako natutuwa sa sitwasyon ko..).. Haay, hindi naman masama na kasama namin ung friends niya.. Actually I like it kasi nakikilala ko ung mga kaibigan niya at kung minsan nagiging ka-close ko na rin pero ayoko ung parang may sarili silang mundo.. Naman!! kahit sinong tao naman ayaw na na-oop.. Hmm.. first, I left them.. Ayoko na sanang bumalik, sasama na sana ako kay Diane but I don't want them to think of anything.. Kaya bumalik din ako.. After we left robinson's.. Sumama nanaman loob ko sa kanya kasi pakiramdam ko na he's so insensitive.. For about 2 hours??.. walang kausap.. mukha nanaman akong ewan sa harap nila..

Of course.. I can't stay mad at him.. Ako pa nga ang nakonsensya sa nangyari.. Hindi ko pa naman siya ncongratulate ng maayos kahapon.. I am happy for him.. Bakit naman hindi diba?! I waited his text all through the night pero wala dahil baka ma-open namin ung nangyari pero wala.. I just want to make it clear na wala na sa akin ung nangyari.. Mainit lang talaga ang ulo ko at that time at di ko nagustuhan ung nangyari sa akin..

Je ne peux pas vous comprendre

2007-04-13T00:53:00.000+08:00

Je ne sais pas que je peux me fier.. Je ne suis pas que stupide pour ne pas remarquer vos actions. N'a jamais fait j'ai senti votre confiance sur moi.. J'ai fait mon meilleur vous montrer mon soin et ne vous a jamais fait toujours estime tout.. Tout ce temps.. Je me rends compte, j'ai gaspillé mon temps pour l'aime de vous.. Je souhaite que vous ayez disparu dans ma vie.. S'il vous plaît, je suis fatigué avec notre bêtise.. Cette fois je dirais.. LE DERNIER ! !

small actions affect big outcomes

2007-04-04T16:17:00.000+08:00

Little words, eloquent speeches or sermons; little deeds, and even battles.

I believe that as you connect the dots of wise choices, a great haze will drop away from your vision. A dark cload may followed you for so long that you've ceased to be aware of it.

I might or may be a fool..

(haay, ano ba 'tong pinagsasabi ko?? konek?! hehe.. intindihin niyo na lang ang message ko..)

so, this is it?!

2007-04-02T22:37:00.000+08:00

Di ko alam kung ano ang iniisip mo ngayon. Siguro sa mga oras na ito, galit ka na sa akin. Hindi ko maintindihan kung ano ba ‘tong nararamdaman ko –overwhelmed dahil sa alam mo na ang nasa loobin ko o naiiyak, malungkot dahil nag-away nanaman tayo?? Ewan ko ba.. Ayokong mawalan ng isang kaibigan tulad mo pero parang gusto mo na ata matigil na itong pagkakaibigan natin dahil nasasakal ka na sa isang katulad ko.. Naisip ko tuloy, akala ko ang magkaibigan ay hindi nagsasawa.. Hindi pala totoo un.. Kahit sino pa man ang taong un, mapakaibigan o mahal mo man magsasawa ka rin.. I tried to keep this friendship of ours, never to be broken... I guess we’re not as you said “meant to be as friends..” =’((

digging what's inside

2007-03-30T23:36:00.000+08:00

I gave myself one week to reflect. Reflect everything that keeps on bothering me.

Academics finally its all over. Two weeks, struggling to aim not a passing mark but a mark closer to our ceiling grade.. Philippine History and Economics are my subjects were I am weak. So far, I am overwhelmed with my Philippine History grade. Still wishing for my Economics.. =’S

Friends.. yes, were now doing ok.. After the feud we had last month, I began to be a loner.. Not chatting with them for a month end up a lot of regrets for me. I can feel the gap, the awkwardness when I’m with them..

And to a friend.. the grudge that I’ve planted still lies inside me. Not about our past but our present. There are times that I tried to avoid having a conversation with him especially during the finals.. Why? Without him knowing, he is hurting me. “wag ka ng magsalita kung hindi mo alam.” These simple words does hurt my feelings. Like he was trying to tell me that I’m stupid, useless!! I may not be the “ultimate girl” that he’s looking for to love nor smart like he is, or even a best and I mean BEST friend like Irene.. I tried to be a friend, not perfect, but a friend, a best friend being herself.. The IMPERFECT one!! But look at me.. the stupid one, affected with those words, trying to do everything just to be perfect –for him to be pleased.. I quit one thing that I love –dancing.. I forced myself to have a part time job, being an encoder(typist) to my professor, applied myself this summer being a S.A.(student assistant) in admissions, and also entered myself in an online job, -writing articles w/ this unknown business I never heard of.. A friend of mine told me that it’s a scam they won’t pay me. So what? I have no regrets.. I am not looking for money, I’m doing this just to prove him something.

Haay.. I’m ok nah.. ^_^’ (just letting it all out of my system..)

sorry..

2007-03-28T22:24:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I'm saying this.. I rejected him.. After a month of secretly seeing each other.. Alam ko, mali ako.. Nasaktan ko siya.. Pero mali talaga eh.. Its hard to see that I'm w/ my best friend's friend.. kaya pasensya na lang kung pinaasa kita.. ='( masaya na ako sa ganito.. Besides, I'm not rushing myself to have a relationship.. Inuuna at inaayos ko muna ang lahat ng priorities ko..

cool off muna..

2007-03-17T21:20:00.000+08:00

I fought with my best friend just because of the caption I put on my ym.. Haay.. Nakakalungkot.. I'm so pissed off with one of my groupmates in Values.. Kahapon pa siya eh.. no.. matagal na pala ako nagtitimpi sa lalaking un!! Grr!! My Goodness!! Bakit di ko napansin un dati pa?! I felt I've been used.. "Masyado ka kasi mabait.." yun ang laging sinasabi sa akin.. anyways.. Sinasabi ko naman sa kanya ang totoo(kahit na napakasimpleng bagay lang).. Hindi ko alam kung bakit un ang inisip niya.. hmph.. "Nasasakal ako.." yan ang sinabi niya sa akin.. Oo, narealize ko rin yan, masyado ko nga siyang sinasakal.. Kaya nga ako ng gumagawa ng paraan para hindi ko siya masaktan, hindi kami mag-away.. Ako na ang umiiwas.. Grrr!! I really hate it!! Sana matapos na 'tong sem!! Ayoko nah!! Sobrang problemado na ako sa lahat!! Sa academics ko especially my Economics(shit talaga ang nangyari sa akin!!), ang thesis namin ni Jho sa Filipino, my blockmates at ngayon ang friendship namin!! >='(

chatting w/ my hs friends..

2007-03-16T23:18:00.000+08:00

Kakainis.. I'm so pissed off when I arrived home.. Ang kaisa-isa kong hamster.. Patay nah!! huhuhu!! kung ano ang saya ko kanina, kabaligataran naman ngayon.. Ewan ko kung bakit namatay.. Almost 3 months ko na siya inaalagaan.. haay.. Anyways.. nakausap ko sina Tin and lysing.. namiss ko sila.. sobra!! waha!! nabigla ako sa kwento ni tin.. babae pala ung karelasyon niya.. akala ko pa naman lalaki.. lalaki kasi itsura nun sa pic.. tsk3.. tapos si alyssa.. my gosh!! nashock ako sa sinabi niya.. inlove daw siya.. woah!! totoo ba kaya un?! hahahaha!! siya?! maiinlove?! well2.. dalaga na talaga ang bez girl ko.. ^.^

para sayo toh..

2007-03-11T17:54:00.000+08:00

Hindi ko maintindihan kung ako ba’y talagang mahalaga sa buhay mo. Pero bakit ganun ka? Hindi mo ba alam na nasasaktan ako sa ginagawa mo?! Kaibigan mo ba talaga akong tunay o napipilitan ka lang? Tinatanong naman kita, sabihin mo lang sa akin para alam ko kung ano bang problema. Oo, alam kong marami kang problema at iniisip pero bakit parang pati ako dinadamay mo pa? May ginawa ba akong kasalanan o ginawang di mo nagustuhan? Sabihin mo naman sa akin! Kung anu-ano na kasi ang iniisip ko sayo. Iparamdam mo naman sa akin na espesyal ako sayo , hindi ung nagiging espesyal ako sa tuwing nagkakaroon tayo ng isang exchange thing natin. =’( Para lang kasing napipilitan ka lang.. =’( o sige, hindi tayo mag-usap o magkita ng matagal para minsan- maalala mo naman ako. X'((

(sa totoo lang.. natututunan ko ng magselos kay irene.. kasi bakit siya, may smiley face ang 'bestfriend' niya ako wala?? [hek2.. parang bata eh.. :p])

night incident

2007-03-11T10:52:00.000+08:00

Last night was so scary.. Pinasukan kami ng magnanakaw.. ganito un.. Wala kami sa bahay kasi sinundo kami ni mom ko, kami ni angelito.. Ako kasi nasa school at si angelito naman nasa galaan.. Pinapunta kami ng Daddy ko sa sm kasi nadun siya kasama si Angelo dahil nakipagkita siya sa kasamahan niya sa trabaho(business thing).. ok, skip.. skip.. Nakauwi na kami around 9:30pm.. Gulat kami kasi sabi ng Dad ko na pinasukan daw kami.. Unang hinanap namin si Sharlene(ung isa pang aso namin kasi halos kabibili lang namin siya eh.) Akala ko nagjjoke lang siya kasi pagpasok ko, nakita ko si sharlene sa kusina. Aasarin ko na sana Dad ko pero nung pumunta ako sa room niya.. my gosh!! natulala ako at tinext ko kagad ang bez at tita ko.. hahaha!!

Sinira nila ung aircon at doon dumaan(syempre, dun yun sa room ng parents ko).. Umm.. mukhang binagyo ang kwarto nila.. Dahil sa palagi nameng nllock ung mga kwarto namen, ung mga pintuan namin, sira-sira!! Una nameng hinanap ni angelito ung pc namen.. But thank goodness, hindi nila kinuha pero nakuha ung violin ko, dvd players namen at ung mp3 ni angelito.. Wala lang un sa amin dahil gamit lang ang nawala, papalitan na lang daw ulit.. hay, super scary talaga.. Nireport namen sa police, at ang pinag-iisipan namin ay ung kapit bahay naming squatters.. Kasi minsan nakita naming umaakyat sa aming bubong.. tsk3.. haayy, ang buhay nga talaga ngayon.. (I took some pics nga pala.. hehe..)

2007-03-10T06:21:00.000+08:00

Ok na ang pakiramdam ko since the Wednesday incident.. As I was about to chat with him.. I felt the anger, annoyance in him.. Why? Because of the USC elections.. I don’t know what he’s talking about but one thing I know is that he was so pissed off.. I tried to calm him down and it was no use.. What can I do? What do I have to say? Eh di ko naman alam ang mga pinagsasabi niya and its about politics.. One thing I dislike.. Hindi ko man gusto ang pinag-uusapan namin but I tried to listen to him.. Ang hirap.. =’( Why do I feel that whenever I want to go near him, there’s this instance that I’m afraid to make a false move- because I’m afraid that he might get mad at me.. Fine with me.. Kaya nga when it comes to issues, nanliliit ako sa kanya. I may not be like his friends (na sobrang talino..) tntry kong irelate ang sarili ko sa mga pinagsasabi niya.. Seeking for the right words that he wanted to hear. Hmm.. nppressure lang siguro siya ngayon kaya sa ganyan.. Palipasin ko lang ‘tong sem at magiging ok na ulit..

Empathize

2007-03-09T11:07:00.000+08:00

Haayy, I really miss blogging because of our bloody schedule.. Nawalan tuloy ako ng time.. hmm.. Ang dami tuloy pumapasok sa utak ko.. Simula nung Wednesday, nag iba ang pakiramdam at ugali ko.. I’ve become impatient (dahil ang tagal ibigay ni Armand ung paper niya, cause I have to read and review his work, hay naku.. don’t ask na lang.. in short.. Naging mean ako..), and paranoid (I’ve been looking to his friend’s profile.. at parang nagselos ako.. yah.. that’s right.. ngayon lang ako nagselos sa kanya kahit na dati’y wala akong nararamdamang ganung bagay.. So many questions I’ve been asking to myself.. grr!! As much as possible, iniiwasan kong mag-isip ako ng kung anu-ano..) (masama lang loob ko kaya kung anu-ano na lang ang iniisip kong negative.. hmph..)

Sometimes, I hate myself because of this attitude.. Tnry kong baguhin ang sarili ko pero hindi ko maiwasan.. Ayokong Isipin niyang hindi pa ganun ka-strong ang friendship namen dahil nagkakaroon ako ng doubts.. For me, strong na ang friendship namen.. ang problema lang ay ako.. I tried to compensate, I really do.. Ok, what am I trying to say?? Nung Wednesday, nainis ako.. hindi ko alam kung sa kanya o sa mga kaibigan niya.. For the nth time, na-O.P. ako that’s why (Its my fault, bakit ba hindi ko sinabi sa kanya dati pa.. I guess dahil gusto ko ipakita sa kanya na all around ako..).. yah, ang babaw ko.. para yun lang.. Kasi, minsan na lang kami magkasama, di tulad nila.. Gusto ko ng umalis after I finished my meal pero hindi, dahil gusto ko siyang makasama pa at baka mag-isip ung mga kaibigan niya na hindi sila ok sa akin.. ok naman sila sa akin.. For 30 mins. Or so, nakatunganga lang ako at nakikinig sa mga pinagsasabi nila na di ko naman maintindihan.. Yesterday, nagpaka-loner muna ako.. Hindi ako sumama kay Diane.. I want to think, reflect on what happened to me.. Because of the heavy feeling I had, I cried.. Sana pala, umalis na lang ako para hindi ako nagmukhang tanga sa harapan nila.. Sana ginawa ko nga un para hindi sumama ang loob ko at mag-isip ng kung anu-ano.. I admit to myself.. Naging possessive ako sa kanya.. Gusto ko halos every week nagkikita kami.. laging nag-uusap.. Why?! Dahil ayokong magkaroon kami ng gap sa isa’t-isa.. He’s the only person I can say my treasure.. I want him to know what I feel pero ayoko naman isabay sa problems niya.. Lalo na ngayon.. Iniintindi ko na lang.. Mali rin ako.. I demand too much from him.. Hay, cge.. break muna kami sa pagkikita..

Ayan, nasabi ko na rin ang nasaloobin ko.. How I wish ok na ako.. hahaha!! Haay, naging moody nga ako.. My God!! This sem was crucial!! Ok, two weeks to go.. I can do this..

senti

2007-03-07T21:25:00.000+08:00

"Come On"

And finally the silence
Looking out, looking back across the sky
Trying to find a meaning
Knowing that I just left it all behind
Still I smell a lingering softness
Where did he go
How did he go
I wanna wanna know
I wanna know that he'll be coming here to me

[Chorus:]
Come on
Without you I'll never feel the love inside of me
Come on, you know that we belong
Come on, come on, come on, come on

Thinking back before him
I never knew the meaning of alone
Still the flag is feeling foreign
I live the day to escape into a phone
Speaking of a world not real then
Where did he go
How did he go
I wanna wanna know
I wanna know that he'll be coming here to me

[Chorus]

Cause each of his kisses
How my heart misses
he's coming
he's coming here to me
I'm needing
Desiring to kiss him nowI'm living for him
Breathing for him
Singing for his fairytale

[Chorus]

Come on
Without you I'll never feel the love inside of me
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Come on...

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hindi ko minsan maintindihan ang sarili ko.. hay.. di tuloy ako makapagconcentrate sa ginagawa ko.. ='(

Disheartened

2007-03-07T19:01:00.000+08:00

Hay, gusto ko munang magpaka-loner for a week siguro.. Nalungkot kasi ako sa nangyari sa akin kanina.. My God, as I think of it.. I look so pathetic!! huhuhu!! Don't ask.. basta yun na yon.. Ayokong mag-isip siya ng masama sa akin kaya ako na lang ang bahalang umunawa.. hay.. Besides.. so many things to finish pa pala sa eco.. huhu!! ='S

Wah buhay pa!!

2007-03-04T01:56:00.000+08:00

After seeing my friend’s blog.. I started looking at my previous blog too.. (not in friendster ha..) Namiss ko rin magblog dito.. I might go back using this blogspot.. hmm.. Oo tama.. bahala na lang kung magffriendster blog pa ako.. Kasi the reason kung bakit ngbblog ako dun dahil gusto kong mabasa ‘niya’ ang nasa loobin ko.. Haha!! I’m so weird talaga.. oh well.. I also realize that it’s not even nice to vent around in public dahil nag-iiba ang tingin ng tao sa akin o kaya sa taong tinutukoy ko.. At nakakasakit na rin ako..(even sometimes I’m doing it intentionally.. :D hmm.. bad Jelai!!) hehe..

Hay, pagod na ako super!! I’m almost(?!) Halfway of my histo. paper.. And ¾ of my PowerPoint presentation in Values.. hahaha!! Tapusin ko lang ‘tong week and it’s all over.. Shit!! I forgot.. Ung eco pa pala namen.. huhu!! Ayoko ng bumalik sa NEDA!!

One of the Best treasures I ever had.. =')

2006-08-25T21:08:00.000+08:00

I just wanna share this letter.. Given by someone last Christmas (Dec.16, 2005).. Yes, I do miss his occurence.. Huhu!! I believe its been a month na since we've seen each other.. I miss my bezie!!

Angela
10 reasons why I'll never forget her...
1.) One of the first friends I had from another section..
2.) Taught me how to hate.. really hate!
3.) Taught me how to smile, when everything around me seemed wrong.
4.) She taught me how to accept people for who they are- that you love a person for who he/she is not..
5.) She made me see what I can be- encouraging me with words that made me feel good..
6.) She did almost everything she could for a the people she loved- I'm very thankful..
7.) She saw in me what other people did not, strengthening even my deepest fears..
8.) She never said a secret of mine to a single soul.. unbelievably trustworthy..
9.) She gave- even when none's to return..
10.) She is an angel! And nothing you'd do can let her down!

bringning up the past...

2006-07-30T21:59:00.000+08:00

Nannuod ngayon ng Philippine Idol.. Whahaha!! ok, flashback ako ngayon.. hmm.. wala lang.. masaya ako nung araw na un kasi ksama ko sina Arvin at Herbert mag-audition sa Philippine Idol.. We met ate Mara & Ate Louisa.. (hmm.. muzta na kaya sila??) Umm.. mabuti na lang at di ako, kami ipinakita kasi kasama ko ang Daddy ko manuod ng Philippine Idol.. Whahaha!! What if nakita niya ako.. kami.. dun?? Naku.. Patay ako!! tsk2.. siguro dahil din sa hindi sina Francis M. ang nagjudge sa akin..

Sa wakas!! dsl na rin kami!! Hindi ung katulad ng dati.. smart wireless broadband ang gamit kinuha namen this tym.. (atleast kahit 24/7 ako nag-iinternet ok lang dahil hindi namen ginagamit ang phone.. )

August 1.. Reco na namen.. Huhu!! Tama ba 'tong gagawin ko?! hay.. sa totoo lang, nahihirapan ako.. bakit ba hindi ko magawang mahalin siya.. yes I do like him but only as a companion.. Siya ba ang dapat kong sisihin kung bakit ako nagkakaganito?! Kung bakit hindi ko magawang mahalin ang ibang tao?! Siya pa rin ba?! Huhu!! ='( o pnpilit ko lang talaga magmahal ng iba para tuluyan ko siyang makalimutan?!? whahaha!! ='(( every night, un na lang ang pinagssentihn ko.. Hinahanap ang kasagutan sa mga tanong na yun.. Sometimes I do feel that I've been deceived.. But ofcourse I cannot assume what I believe or think.. Baka nagkakamali lang ako.. Tska alam ko naman na hindi niya un magagawa sa akin..

Why- Avril Lavigne

2006-07-24T07:08:00.000+08:00

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like thisLike you just don't care at all
Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart
Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even when you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each dayIt's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each dayIt's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell meIt's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

---------------------------------------------------

Huhu!! senti mode.. (umagang-umaga eh!! =p )yah, tryin' to think of it.. if there's going to be 'us'.. Still thinkin' pa rin!! hmm... (ui, hindi ang bezie ko ang tinutukoy ko ha!! ;p )

------

2006-07-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

Woo!! Ang galing.. marunong na ako magcart wheel!! Hek2.. Grabe w/in 6 months.. kailangan magawa ko na kung ppano magsplit, one leg stand and cart wheel.. Un daw kasi ang ipanglalaban namen sa SCUAA.. hmm.. Yesterday, we’ve discussed about the uniform.. haha!! Parang di ko gusto ang magiging uniform namen ha.. kasi.. wala lang.. ^^,)

Hmph.. About sa lovelife ko.. hehe.. (meron pa ba ako nun?!) ok, dalawa na ang tinanggihan ko.. whahaha!! Asar lang ako.. un lang.. masyado ko daw cncommit ang sarili ko kay Arvin.. umm.. heller!! Paano kaya un?! Dahil lang ba sa nreject ko siya?! Hindi noh.. Enjoy life!! Ayokong may nagdidikta sa mga gusto kong gawin o kaya pinagbabawal ako juz for him.. ayokong kncontrol ako for now.. Happy ako kung ano ako ngaun.. single, free, and no heart aches.. hek2.. (ang drama ba naman!!) Pinalalagpas ko daw ang mga taong para sa akin.. hmm.. hindi naman.. ayoko kasi ung sagot ng sagot ako kung kani-kanino.. inshort.. ‘Collect and select’ haha!! Di ako ganun noh!! --, the next tym I fall in love again.. ayoko ng mheart broken ako.. huhu!! =’(I’ve been thinkin’ cguro bago ko icommit ang sarili ko sa iba.. may kailangan muna akong baguhin sa sarili ko.. that is.. Being possessive tsaka pagging selosa ko.. yah.. that’s it.. ^^,) )

confusion..

2006-07-21T09:37:00.000+08:00

Why does he have to be this way?! Meron ako isang friend.. hmm.. his being so cold na.. ewan ko ba kung ano ba ang ginawa kong masama.. Syempre, d ko rin sure kung tama bang iniisip ko.. hmm.. sabi nagseselos siya kay Arvin.. nyek.. kamuzta naman un?! ano naman ang gusto niyang gawin ko?! Iwan ko siya?! Haha!! never!! Nung naggudbye nga siya sa akin, halos dinamdam ko ang nangyari.. I love my bezie.. more than a friend.. a lover.. a brother.. but more likely.. like how I love myself.. (naks!! ang drama!! haha!!) ^^,)

coming back..

2006-07-17T07:45:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Welcome back Jelai!! Haha!! Kamuzta naman ako?! Hmph.. I’ll also try to update this blog.. hek2.. =p maybe next tym.. aausin ko na at papagandahin ito dahil I’m reunited?! w/ my bez?! Haha!! (ok, wat a word.. hek2..) but not this tym muna.. too busy.. ^^,)

2006-04-28T10:54:00.000+08:00

Ok.. here’s the whole story sa gala namin.. we watched silent hill.. hmm.. di ko masyado nags2hn.. nakakadiri kasi.. knikilabutan nga ako!! Hahahaha!!! Aun, hnhintay kong sabhn nia sa akin na tabi kami.. pero hindi.. sabi nia ‘ate tabi tau..’ parang sumama ang loob ko sa kanya.. wen we’re watching.. tahimik lang ako.. kahit na inaasar nia ako.. nakikiride lang ako sa kanya.. then after that.. picture taking.. pinagdarasal ko na sana tumabi siya sa akin.. hindi pa rin!! Hmph.. 2mabi lang xa nung 2nd shot na.. no choice kasi wala na xa mapaglulugaran.. ayan, nakakaramdam na ako ng pagdududa..

Next, nag ice skating kami.. What I juz realized?! Ang tanga ko naman grabe!! Bakit ganyan ako mag-icp sa kanya?! Masyado naman ako negative pagdating sa kanya.. Juz to show him na were ok na.. hinaharot ko siya sa skating rink.. dnadala ko siya sa gitna ng rink tapos iniiwan ko siya.. hahaha!! Nadadapa siya!! Meron 1 na back fire.. ako naman ang nadapa.. masaya nung nandun kami sa skating rink.. una, nakikita kong nahihirapan sina ate razeille tsaka si Arvin kaya ginawa ko, tinuturuan ko sila tsaka inaalalayan.. eh pag nasasalo ko sina arvin at ate razeille, nasisipa nila ung binti ko.. huhu!! Kaya ako nagkaroon ng pasa.. umm.. parang namamago ung binti ko.. huhu!! Kaya medyo nahihirapan ako lumakad ngayon..

After that.. nagkaraoke kami.. 1st I was shy and then nawala.. hahaha!! Todo birit sila.. ang masaya, kahit di nila kaya ung high pitch wala silang pakialam.. tnatawanan na lang nila.. di kutulad nila kim.. pagtatawanan ka nila.. kaysa papasamain nila ung luob mo.. lalo na c Carolyn.. dahil lang ba sa ok ung boses niya sa pagkakanta?! Hmph.. aun, magastos ung gala naming.. but it worth it naman.. Its fun.. un na ata ung pinakamasaya kong gala.. I’m preferring to my friends ha.. friends sa school.. I’m wishing na mangyari sana ulit ung gala naming.. ung kaming 4 ulit..

2006-04-20T17:12:00.000+08:00

So far so good, I ended up very well.. hmm..Did I regret doing things for him?? Do I feel so pathetic after all the things I've done for him?? Sacrificing alot of things?? Wasting my time just to prove I love him?! Hmm.. nakakatawang isipin ang mga pinaggagawa ko sa kanya.. Yet, I don't.. I don't regret the things I did for him.. why?? I learned a valuable lesson.. hehe.. secreto ko na un!!

Nung tym na umiyak ako for him.. umm.. ewan ko kung umiyak ako sa kanya dahil sa nalaman ko o dahil ba sa naiinis ako sa sarili ko.. sabi niya kasi sa akin.. There's something I haven't prove to him.. about my feelings ha.. amph.. kulang pa pala un.. wat else pa ba ang gusto niya?! well, juz 4get it na lang!!

Ok, next topic.. Hmm.. Pupunta ba kayo ako sa party niya?? Parang ayaw ko eh.. sabi ni ate chinky punta raw ako.. pero.. ewan.. bahala na lang kung bigla ko na lang isipin kung pupunta ako.. besides, d naman ako hahanapin dun..

2006-02-27T23:44:00.000+08:00

I juz love this song... I keep on singing it over and over agen.. hehe..

When I see you smile- Bad English

Sometimes I wonder how I'd ever make it through
Through this world without having you,
I just wouldn't have a clue
'Cos sometimes it seems like this world's closing in on me
And there's no way of breaking free, and then I see you reach for me
Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby, and everything's alright, everything's alright

When I see you smile, I can face the world, oh oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile, I see a ray of light, oh oh
I see it shining right thru the rainWhen I see you smile, baby when I see you smile at me
Baby there's nothing in this world that could ever do
What a touch of your hand can do, it's like nothing that I ever knewAnd when the rain is falling, I don't feel it, 'cos you're here with me now
And one look at you baby, is all I'll ever need, it's all I'll ever need

When I see you smile, I can face the world, oh oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile, I see a ray of light, oh oh
I see it shining right thru the rain
When I see you smile, baby, baby when I see you smile at me
Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight
Then one look at you baby, and everything's alright, everything's alright
So right

(Instrumental break)
When I see you smile, I can face the world, oh oh, you know I can doanything
When I see you smile, I see a ray of light, oh oh
I see it shining right thru the rain, yeah
When I see you smile, I can face the world, oh oh, you know I can doanything
When I see you smile, oh yeah, baby when I see you smile, smile at me

2006-02-25T17:10:00.000+08:00

I'm so exausted nah!! Actually, nasa computer room ako ngaun.. whehe.. 2 araw na aq pagod!! Hmm.. atleast naka 60% na kami.. DAW.. pwde bng mag-open?? Syempre pwde.. Nakakaasar si Sir Albina.. After what he said sa mga bez section bout our topic.. Ngaun cnsbi niya "excellent", "u did a great job"... Sa totoo lang, parang pinahiya niya kami sa bez section.. Cnasbi niya, Kung ano raw ang basehan naman.. duh!! Sa title pa lang nandun na kung saan kami nagbase.. Sinabi ko naman kay Sir Albina kung sino2 at saan kami ng survey.. hmph..

Luvlyf...

Naiinis na talaga ako kay Efraim!! Sinasabi niya kina Mark & Lester na may gusto ako sa kanya tapos I heard from Arvin... hmph.. Nakakairita talaga siya!! I told him na wag na siyang umasa sa akin dahil mahal ko pah si Arvin.. E2 naman c Ryuji, cnabi na hindi nah 22o un.. Sa wednsday pupunta raw si Efraim para kausapin si Arvin.. Bakit niya kakausapin si Arvin?! Ang exagg niya infairness!! Kahit kausapin pa niya si Arvin, hindi pa rin magbabago ang isip ko.. To clear things up.. I DON'T HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR EFRAIM... NOT EVER!!!!!!!!

Past thoughts....

Tama nga si Xyrus.. Mas masaya pag friends na lang kami ni Arvin.. Sa isang linggong walang pasok.. 2x ako pumunta kina Arvin.. wala lang.. nakikigulo lang ako.. whehe.. What I felt?? Happy.. Sobrang Happy tsaka wala ako nararamdamang hiya.. Parang ordinary lang ba.. getz?! Basta.. Hindi ako nakaramdam ng hiya nung magkasama kami.. madal2 ako.. Makulet.. in short.. I'm being myself.. 1 pah.. nung napag-usapan namin ni Arvin ung luvlyf ko.. tapos siya.. hehe.. di na ako nakakaramdam ng selos.. =) Back to normal ulit kami.. Lyk when we were in 2nd yr.. Gusto ko ng ganun eh.. Sana maulit pah un sa amin.. Oo nga pala.. c Mark.. hehe.. Ang kulet2!!! Masaya rin pala siyang kasama, kaharot at kakwen2han!! ^^,)

2006-02-18T18:46:00.000+08:00

Ok, ngayon lang ulit ako mkkpagpost ng entry d2.. hehe.. Kahapon Prom.. masaya na medyo malungkot.. Asar nga ako kay Sayyid.. Kasi naman, dinala pa niya talaga ako sa lugar kung saan sumasayaw c Arvin!! Pero au slang naman.. Mabait c Sayyid.. Super!! Nakakahiya nga lang kasi nung pinatugtog ung love moves in mysterious ways.. Grabe.. Umiyak ako sa kanya!! Don’t know why pero bigla na lang talaga ako napaluha!! Marami2 rin ang nag-invite sa akin isayaw.. Umm.. Hanggang ngaun, magkagalit pa rin kami ni Ren2.. Kasi naman siya, akala niya nakaka2wa ang ginawa niya.. Klan ba un.. Bigla na lang niya pinagsisigaw kay Arvin na ginagawa ko ung cross stitch.. Sino ba kaya hindi maiinis dun?!

Aun, nasabi ko na kay Arvin ang dapat kong sabihin.. Kinakabahan lang talaga ako kasi baka baligtarn ako ng ibang tao.. Ako pa ang mapapasama.. Hindi bale, k2lad ng sinabi ni Ate Chinky sa akin.. “Mas mabuti na rin un kaysa dumating ung time na sabihin pa sayo ng isang tao na alam mo nap ala, wala ka naman ginawa..“ Shocks!! Sana di nga un mangyari.. Hay, kaya nga ako ng makialam pagdating sa gn2ng bagay.. Nacconsenxa lang talaga kc ako.. Syempre kahit as a friend na lang, pagttanggol ko pa rin siya noh!!

2006-01-16T13:41:00.000+08:00

Ang lungkot kung iicpn.. Bakit ganun.. What’s happening?! Bakit lately nag-aaway na kami?? I want everything to be normal between us.. I want to talk to him, but I can’t even text him.. Like what ate Chinky said, “Give him space”.. Ok, ppabayaan ko na muna siya.. Tntext ko lang siya pag siya unang mgttext sa akin.. The truth is, I miss our friendship.. Sometimes, I think about it.. We’re happy when were still friends.. Is this the time?! I don’t know kung magiging friends ulit kami.. He’s right.. Ang gulo nga.. Pati rin ako naguguluhan na rin..

2006-01-15T06:52:00.000+08:00

Sa Kanya- MYMP

Namulat ako at ngayo'y nag-iisa
Pagkatapos ng ulan
Bagama't nakalipas na ang mga sandali
Ay nagmumuni kung ako'y nagwagi
Pinipilit mang sabihin na ito'y wala sa akin
Ngunit bakit hanggang ngayon, nagdurugo pa rin

Chorus:
Sa kanya pa rin babalik sigaw, ng damdamin
Sa kanya pa rin sasaya, bulong ng puso ko
Kung buhay pa ang alaala ng ating nakaraan
Ang pagmamahal at panahon alay pa rin sa kanya

At sa hatinggabi ay nag-iisa na lang
Ay minamasdan ang larawan mo
At ngayo'y bumalik nang siya'y kapiling pa
Alaala ng buong magdamag
Kung sakali mang isipin na ito'y wala sa akin
Sana'y dinggin ang tinig kong nag-iisa pa rin

Repeat Chorus 2x

Ang pagmamahal at panahon alay pa rin
Sa kanya, sa kanya, sa kanya, hah-ooh
Sa kanya.

2006-01-14T18:53:00.000+08:00

Huhu!! May gnawa aqng masama ngaun!! Parang d q mapatawad ang sarili ko!! Nacconsenxa aq!! I’m so SoRRY!!! SORRY SORRY SORRY TALAGA!!! Kahit na sinasabi kong galit, naiinis at naaasar sa kanya.. Mahal ko pa rin siya.. Tsaka hindi ako gagawa ng ganun.. Loyal ako!! I'm such a byotch!! Hindi nah.. ayoko nah.. Nakakainis nga lang though kasi kapitbahay ko pala siya!! Hmph.. Ayokong makita xa ulit kahit around here o kahit pumunta pa siya sa school.. I must be loyal!!

2006-01-14T08:59:00.000+08:00

God I’m so relief that we’re half way finishing our thesis proposal.. Pinagpuyatn q rn xa!! Hehe.. Ngayon ata ulit ako nakaexperience ng gani2.. (Except studying in physics and math ha..) Mabuti at naicpn na ng iba qng kgrupm8s na 2lungan aq.. meron lang ung 2.. pasayaw!! Hehe.. Kailangn ko pa silang cgawn para cla para makinig sa cnsabi ko.. Sana matapos na namin 2 ngayon para wala na kaming pproblemahin pa.. Hehe.. ^^,)

2006-01-13T20:18:00.000+08:00

Bakit ganun.. Kung ano2 na lang ang iniicp nia sa akin.. Nakakainis kc eh.. Kaya rw ngging ganun ang trato nia sa akin kc nssense niya na iniicp ko na naffall na xa sa akin?! Gusto ko sabihin sa kanya ‘ang kapal naman ng mukha mo!!’ teka lang ha.. may pagkaposessive daw ako?! Paano niya naman nsabi un at baket?! Kay Jerick nga tsaka kay Christian, I treat them juz the same w/ Arvin.. Ang difference lang, d kami ngkkta mxado.. Hmph.. iniicp q ung pagsselos q.. Hindi rn un eh.. Kc pg ngkkwn2 c Christian sa akin bout kay dhenise, cnsabi qng ngsselos aq tpos inaaway q pa nga ung girl eh.. Oo, talagang nagsselos nga ako sa kanila kc dapat aq.. hay basta sa akin na kung ano man yun.. Tapos kay Jerick, ung sa kanila ni Zsanel, l8ly nag-aaway na kami kc qng ano2 rw ang cnsbi qng masama bout kay Zsanel.. Eh, un ang tingin at narramdaman q w/ dat girl!! Nkakapang-init ng ulo talaga ang cnbi niya sa akin!! Kung pwede ko nga lang sabihin.. Grr!! Ewan ko ba..Sa totoo lang, marami nga ako gus2ng sabihin sa kanya eh.. hnhntay q lang ang ryt tym 2 let it all out!! Feel q, malapit na ung tym na un.. Tsaka sa totoo lang ha, nggaraan na tlga ako sa kanya.. Ders so many reasons qng bakit.. Naku, baka one day pag d q napigiln ang sarili q.. Massigawan ko na xa!! I’m losing my patience w/ him.. Tapos sa watch?? E1 q ba sa kanya, ano rw ba tlga ang dahiln.. eh cnbi q na sa kanya ang 2nay na dahiln qng bkt q un bnili para sa kanya.. Ang kulit talaga nun!! Sbi niya gs2 niyang ibalik sa akin un.. Haha!! Subukan niya lang, at ibbalik ko sa kanya un in a different way..

Sa ginagawa niya sa akin ngayon, unti2 lumalabas ang galit ko sa kanya.. Actually nagttimpi na nga ako eh.. Kung dati cnsbi kong kaya q mgpasenxa pero ngaun parang hindi na kasi nananadya na siya.. Hindi na nkktuwa ang gngawa niya.. Ano yan parang pinapakita niya sa akin na kaya niya akong ganun2n?! Haha!! Hindi ako mkkapayag niyan.. Ibang usapn na un ha!! Tsaka I’m special?! Talaga bang special ako sa kanya?! Hmph.. I don’t think so.. Sa bagay, nung cnabi nia un sa akin.. I have doubts w/ that na eh..

Hay, nailabas ko rin ang inis ko!! Medyo bumuti buti na ang pakiramdam ko.. ^^,)

2006-01-12T22:41:00.000+08:00

Shet!! Damn it!! Why do I have to be hurt like this?! I can notice him na he’s being cold to me nah.. I always say to myself na he’s juz busy tsaka may problems xa kaya xa nagiging ganun pero hindi na eh.. Nakakahalata na talaga ako!! Sa totoo lang, nahihirapan na rin ako.. evry tym naiicp ko nah.. hmph.. basta.. Minsan qng ano2 na lang ang iniicp ko sa knya.. bakit?! Kc sa tingin q nappilitan lang xa mgtext sa akin.. pancnin aq.. Hmm.. bkt ulit?! juz because may mlaki aq gnawa sa kanya dati?! Hindi.. Ayokong iniicp nia na may utang na loob xa sa akin.. Hindi na nga rin xa ngsh2are ng kht ano sa akin.. That’s ok lang naman sa akin pero sana, qng nakakaramdam xa ng galit o kaya inis sa akin.. Juz say it na lang!! Wag niya sana itago.. Dat’s all I ask.. nothing else.. I want him to be honest with me.. I don’t want treating me dat he has a big favor to me.. Give me a break!! I’m tired of crying!! I’m tired of being hurt!! I don’t care qng sabhn ng iba.. “2migil ka na at pinapahirapan ka lang niya” hindi yun eh.. mahal ko xa, qng pnapahirapan niya aq, then fine!! If he lyks pa nga.. He should kill me na!! Hmph.. un lang cguro ang mggwa niya para d ko maramdaman ang sakit.. Yes, I admit that I’m beginning to be a paranoid.. Ano pa ba ang nxt niyang ggwn sa akin?! Ewan ko na lang.. Minsan iniicp ko ng ssuko na aq dhl nga sa pinapahirapan na niya ako damdamin ko.. pero minsan hindi.. kc mahal ko siya.. tanggapin ko na lang ang lahat ng ginagawa niya sa akin.. Nagppakamartyr aq?! Qng un lang ang magagawa ko tska juz to make him see dat I’m not quitting.. Confession tym.. Pagcnsbhn aq ng iba qng grup m8s kht anong negative.. pnapabayaan ko lang kc may ngppalakas ng loob ko.. yes, I’m talking about him agen.. What should I do!?! If he has a problem with me then SAY it..

Teka2 nga lang.. I’m being a clown.. ofcourse.. cno nga naman pala aq para itxt nia lagi.. hehe.. God I’m so stupid thinking these foolish things!! Cno nga ba naman ako?! CNO NGA BA NAMAN TALAGA AKO SA KANYA!! =’)

2006-01-02T22:35:00.000+08:00

Ok, I’m back.. Hehe.. Another new.. Another life.. What will happen to me this yr?? Hmph.. I don’t know.. Ok, nung nandun kmi sa Tarlac……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Un lang… hehe.. D kc ako nagenjoy o kht n2wa na pumunta kmi dun.. nakakainis!! Well, except nung pmunta kami ng Manaoag.. I prayed so hard nung nsa simbahan aq.. Hoping na m2pad ang 3 wishes q.. at ung 1 para kay Arvin, na makapasa siya sa u.P… I even cried pa nga kc.. dhl sa 1 dream.. Haha!! Nkktawa pero pg dumating nga ung oras na un.. d na xa nkktawa.. After nun, iniwan kmi ng parents namn sa Quezon City.. E2 nagng masaya na aq kc nkasama q na rin ung iba qng cloz cuzins.. New year’s eve.. Grabe, nkailang shots lang ata ako.. knock-out kgd aq!! It’s a gud thing pala bago ako ma-K.O. I told my cuzin to send 1 message for my friend at exactly 12:00.. nkkainis.. sbi q 6x.. Maraming beses pla cnend sa knya.. hay.. dbale as long as cnend.. ok na!!

January 2.. Hehe.. wla lang.. I’m happy kc nkpgbonding ako!! Whaha!!

Lapit na pala pasukn naming.. I’m I ready or not?! Excited?! Hmph.. I don’t think so..

2005-12-26T12:17:00.000+08:00

Sobra aqng happy ngaun!! Kc napasaya ko ang 1 tao na mahalaga sa akin.. Hehe.. Habang hinihintay q cla matapos magempake ng gamit<> mgppost lang muna ako ng entry.. Cguro mga 29 o 30, bbalik na ulit kmi.. Hay, wla na ako msabi.. Basta, sobrang hapy ako!! As in masayang masya talga ako!! ^^,) Masaya kc ako pg nkkta q xang masaya!!

2005-12-23T16:41:00.000+08:00

Know what.. I can’t take it anymore!! Pinipilit ko talagang intindihin at unawain c Arvin.. Pero e2.. e1 q.. I wana shout out wat I feel!! D ko naman makwen2 to kht knino dhl wla naman ang nakakaalam tska ayoko rn malaman nla i2.. Ang bigat ng pakiramdam q.. It really bothers me.. I asked him kung talaga bang naiinis xa sa akin kc I’ve got the feeling na naiinis xa.. Bakit ayaw niyang sabihin sa akin yung 22o?! Di nia ako nrreplyn.. Well, wat he's doin says it all.. Galit nga xa sa akin.. FINE!! I’m really pissed off!! REALLY pissed off!!! Ang hirap, pag di ko mailabas!!! Naiiyak ako!! Ang bigat talaga ng pakiramdam ko!!!

Sa totoo lang, di ko naman rreplyn ung Tito nia kung ibang tao siya.. Dat’s Arvin’s relative.. Yan ang reason qng bakit q xa knakausap.. Tapos e2 naman sa cuzin niya, si Edong.. So wat kung kamukha niya un.. And wat does he mean ‘Pero kaw bahala kng ‘type’ mo mga gnun! Haha!’ Is dis a joke?! 4 me its not.. God, I h8 it wen he does dat!! Naaalala ko 2loy ung last yr.. Nung gumimick ako ksma ung mga kaibigan ng es2dyante ng Daddy q.. Shet!! Wat does he think ‘m I?! Kamukha niya un?! Az if!! He’s still not Arvin.. Kahit clone, twin or watever pa nga niya un, d q xa mggs2hn.. Dahil HINDI XA ANG TAONG MAHAL KO.. Kung pwde nga lang sbhn ko na lang sa t2 and his cuzin to stop texting me.. kaso pg cnbi ko un.. How rude ko naman.. I don’t want dem thinking anything bad about me kc wala naman clang gngawang kasalanan sa akin tps bigla aq manggganun?! I turnd my phone off na nga para d q cla mreplyn pero aun, tnawagn ba naman aq!! Hay, di ko na talaga alam kung ano ang gagawin ko ngaun.. Paano ko ssbhn sa t2 niya and his cuzin to stop texting me or even calling me.. Qng ano2 na lang kc ang iniicp sa akin ni Arvin.. Ayoko talaga ng ganun!! Akala ko magiging masya ang xmas ko pero sa tingn ko.. hindi eh.. Tapos sa situation namin ni Arvin ngaun.. parang lumalala.. Plz.. plz.. plz.. sana hindi maging worst ang situation namin ni Arvin!!

Eh bien aller je etre oblige de souffrir de la sorte!!!

2005-12-23T10:23:00.000+08:00

Yestrday, I went to ate Razeille’s debut.. Grabe, I didn’t expect na ppancnin/ kakausapn ako ng mga relatves ni Arvin.. Actually, 1st tym ko lang naka-encounter ng ganun.. kc sa amin.. ano ba.. pag di naming close.. D namin ppancnn o kkausapn.. lahi kc namn my pagka-snobish.. ‘DAW’.. Saya pala ng gnun.. Inaamin q, masayang-masaya aq kahapon.. hmm.. iniicp ko 2loy khapon.. qng mkpghalublo kaya aq sa mga iba q pang pnsan?? Hehe.. shy din kc aq.. qng mkkpag-usap aq sa knla, d kya nla aq isnobn k2lad ng gnagawa naming sa kanla?? Hmm.. tamang-tama, ppnta nmn kmi sa Tarlac.. here’s my chance pra mapalapit sa kanla.. hmm.. Sa tingn q kaya q naman.. d q naman ksama ung mga pinsan qng maaarte’t malalandi.. haha!! <>

Ano pa nga pla iba pang nangyari khpon?? Well, ininterview aq ng tita at pinsan niya!! Hehe.. Nakakailang pero, nakaka2wa.. kc ang lakas ng loob nila magtanong sa akin ng ganun.. Eh aq nga, knkwen2 q lang sa knla tska wla clang cnsbi sa akin na gs2 nlang makilala c Arvin.. Klala xa sa kilala pero sa picture at sa pgkakakwn2 q.. but personally?? Hindi..

Nakakatok na nakaka2wa ang naexperience q kahapon!! Hehe.. Hmm.. parang gs2 q cla mameet ulit!! Saya kc eh!! Hehe.. =)

Oo nga pala.. hehe.. n2wa dn aq khapon kc nakta qng suot ni Arvin ung bracelet na bnigay q.. ung second ha.. hehe.. Ung watch d q nakta.. sayang.. d q nkta qng bagay bas a knya o hndi.. hehe..

2005-12-19T06:22:00.000+08:00

Don't know how I can express my feelings ryt now.. Pero parang gn2 na rin sa song na 2.. hehe.. pg wla aq magawa sa bahay.. e2 lgi ang pnapakinggan q.. Hmm.. some of the words.. nkkatama so I'll bold italic d words/phrase qng ano man un..^^,)

No Ordinary Love- MYMP

This could have been just another day
But instead we're standing here
No need for words it's all been said
In the way you hold me near
I was alone on this journey
You came along to comfort me
Everything I want in life is right here
'Cause

Chorus:
This is not your ordinary
No ordinary love
I was not prepared enough
To fall so deep in love
This is not your ordinary
No ordinary love
You were the first to touch my heart
And everything right again with your extraordinary love

I get so weak when you look at me
I get lost inside your eyes
Sometimes the magic is hard to believe
But you're here before my very eyes
You brought joy to my world
Set me so free
I want you to understand
You're every breath that I breathe

Chorus

From the very first time that we kissed
I knew that I just couldn't let you go at all
From this day on, remember this:
That you're the only one that I adore
Can we make this last forever
This can't be a dream
'Cause it feels so good to me,
So good to me (so good to me)
To fall so deep in love

Chorus